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i hate myself

I hate myself. I am afraid that I will lose everyone in my life because I am selfish. I am depressed and the only person who I can think about is myself and my own problems. I don't want to be alone I am so afraid of being alone.


It's been 2 almost 3 years since we broke up. I broke up with him, because it seemed as if he never had the time for him. Now 2 -3 years later i still always think about him form time to time. I've been in 2 long term relationships (2 one-ish year relationships) since i broke up with him, yet i still have abnormally strong feelings for him. Everytime i see him my heart skips a beat and my body freezes. What's stupid is, i only dated him for 3 months and yet he has this lasting effect on me. I know what he does and who he likes, yet he knows nothing, about me anymore? I still love him to this day, yet he doesn't notice me. I really do still miss him, and i do hope one day he'll notice me because i've always been watching over him in a way.

I hate myself

I'm a fat, cheesy parody of masculinity. I have a stupid, sparse mustache, and these ridiculous gold chains that I tell everyone are religious medals, because I'm oh-so-proud of my heritage, but I'm no man. It's all props, and misdirection. There was this one beautiful kid who worked in the office next to mine, and I made all kinds of snotty remarks about him, but I was just ashamed of how he made me feel. I'm a disgusting child, a fraud. I wish I had the courage to be honest to my cronies, at the office.


im madly in love with him....ill always be....but i can't tell a soul

Thanks alot

You make the plans okay? Every single time I try to please everyone, I get shoved back in the corner with other plans. Why can't you people just listen to me for once and do what I feel like doing. It is always about your plans.. that him and I always have to follow. Just listen to me for once, please. Don't make things harder. I am stressed because of it. I do not have a say in anything I get to do, which is pretty pathetic. Thank you for taking my voice.

....in love

i cheated on him....for years......im trying to quit.........but i think im in love with both.....cant stop thinking about the other one......its been years since any contact.......

I'm not happy with my marriage and I'm tempted to cheat.

I have been married for over four and a half years. It has not been an easy marriage but at this point in time we are doing okay...minus the fact that everything he does annoys me, he can't kiss, and the only reason I stay with him is because I'm afraid to be alone...and I recently met a guy who I am very attracted to. Since we met we have been in contact nearly every day, and I know that if I called him right now and said meet me for dinner this day at this time" he would do it

no longer home

I am a student. I live at my school about 8 months a year. I have lost nearly all my friends from high school. When I am back at home I am so lonely I want to die. I don't have a job for the short time I am home. I have no purpose. I feel as though I don't exist. I am terribly depressed. I think about killing myself. The only thing that makes me come back here is the guilt my parents give me. I am probably going to move to my boyfriends house this summer and I don't know how to tell them how I feel.


I'm in love with my best friends sister but she's only 14 and im 17, which really isn't THAT much of a difference, but im afraid if i try anything the friendship i have with my best friend will be damaged or his family/people in general will think of me differently in a bad way. I'm basically apart of their family, i can't get her off my minddddd

I Love You So Much I Can't sleep.

To Her: I love you more than Life itself. What we have is something so incredibly beautiful everything and everyone else dims in comparison. I Love you so much I can't sleep. I know I make you mad sometimes because I'm busy but it makes me happy because I know your mad because we cant be together. No matter what happens our friendship will last a lifetime. I don't care what happens I will always be there. Nothing you ever say or do could make me love you any less. I don't care about a physical relationship. If I never held your hand again, or never kissed you, I wouldn't love you any less. People will scoff at me because I am a teenage boy and I'm supposed to be cool and be with as many girls as I can but I don't care. I may sound naive saying these things but they don't know me. They don't know what I am. They are merely cynical people who don't love enough. Sometimes I feel like you don't appreciate me though. I have never lied even once to you. I have even told you things that you didn't want to here if only because they were true and you needed to hear them. I never broke a promise that I have made to you. Whenever you have been down I have been there to pick you up. You may not have let me but I was there. I would take a bullet for you. It wouldn't be a hard decision. I have thought about it many times and I simply value your life more than my own. If my entire purpose of being alive and on earth was to keep you living I would be fine with that. Anyone who claims that I speak empty words is mistaken. They don't know me. They may think that I write this in a moment of infatuation but I have made a decision to love you. I don't feel like loving you, I have chosen to love you. We have had many hard times but even when you were at your lowest point and said things that you didn't mean. I never once stopped loving you. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. I am just a man and I make mistakes, even with the best intentions. You compare me to many of your friends at school. The ones with big muscles who work out. I work out too. Maybe not as much but I guarantee you, I could beat any one of them. Even just out of sheer determination and will. I could beat them because I am fueled by love which I will never run out of and I would never give up. Know this: I Love You, and I always will. No matter what happens. I may not end up with you but I will never stop loving you.

best friend show down

For some reason, I just have to compete with my best friend, even if it is losing something that I love to do (including smoking). If she quits, I try to quit. If she loses weight, I want to lose weight. No matter what she does, I give her a negative comment, yet act like it does not bother me. And as bad as this sounds, I am slowly confessing to myself that I do not want her to look better" than I do."


Regret. The first time i regret something. There was a store window open. Me and five other frends decided to go in. I went in the window first, and opened the door for the other people, then I ran out. I didnt grab anything but I feel guilty for going in. I wasn't raised like that. I'm not sure what to do. I want to tell my parents and do what's right, but I'm scared.

I love my best friend..

I'm in love, I admit it. I'm totally in love with my best friend. When we first met we kind of had something for a week, nothing really happened. It was for just a week, I felt pretty bad when she told me her feelings for me were.. gone. When it happened. I had hurt her, emotionally. A bit later, I started liking a good friend of hers, she was attracted to me as well. Things eventually grew into a relationship. That relationship was based on the lie that I was done with my best friend. I infact never was over her. During my relationship my love actually grew. I love my best friend more then anything in the world. I need her in my life. And yet.. she'll never be there for me like I am for her. Late '07 things were said which caused me, when she was trying to give me a kiss on my cheek, to turn my head so she kissed me on the lips instead. It felt really great, better then with my (by this time ex-) girlfriend. In doing so I damaged her trust in me... Just before '08 there was a brief moment in which hope sparked in me. I was at her place and she was at one point, and she never does this, lying/sitting against me with her head on my chest... A couple times I couldve kissed her, thats how close we were... What the hell can I do to either get over her or get her.. I know I need to let her go but I don't want to...

sad obsession

i become obsessed with whoever will take interest in me. i become possessive and believe that they are mine and should pay attention to me. it makes me stressed out and upset and miserable. today i was poked" on a website by a good looking guy. i poked back and checked every 5 minutes for the next 3 hours to see if he poked again. he didnt.


I drove drunk and wrecked my car.


i hate how my parents just cant leave me alone; they tell me to grow up but wont let me do it; they cant leave me to myself for even an hour at a time; i want to move out and i really want to go out of state for college but they just down talk every decision or thought i have; i love my parents but i hate them too


i stalk my other's ex.

i have been

i have been toying with you.