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i cheated on him....for years......im trying to quit.........but i think im in love with both.....cant stop thinking about the other one......its been years since any contact.......
I'm not happy with my marriage and I'm tempted to cheat.
I have been married for over four and a half years. It has not been an easy marriage but at this point in time we are doing okay...minus the fact that everything he does annoys me, he can't kiss, and the only reason I stay with him is because I'm afraid to be alone...and I recently met a guy who I am very attracted to. Since we met we have been in contact nearly every day, and I know that if I called him right now and said meet me for dinner this day at this time" he would do it
no longer home
I am a student. I live at my school about 8
months a year. I have lost nearly all my friends from high school. When I am back at home I am so lonely I want to die. I don't have a job for the short time I am home. I have no purpose. I feel as though I don't exist. I am terribly depressed. I think about killing myself. The only thing that makes me come back here is the guilt my parents give me. I am probably going to move to my boyfriends house this summer and I don't know how to tell them how I feel.
I'm in love with my best friends sister but she's only 14 and im 17, which really isn't THAT much of a difference, but im afraid if i try anything the friendship i have with my best friend will be damaged or his family/people in general will think of me differently in a bad way. I'm basically apart of their family, i can't get her off my minddddd
I Love You So Much I Can't sleep.
To Her: I love you more than Life itself. What we have is something so incredibly beautiful everything and everyone else dims in comparison. I Love you so much I can't sleep. I know I make you mad sometimes because I'm busy but it makes me happy because I know your mad because we cant be together. No matter what happens our friendship will last a lifetime. I don't care what happens I will always be there. Nothing you ever say or do could make me love you any less. I don't care about a physical relationship. If I never held your hand again, or never kissed you, I wouldn't love you any less. People will scoff at me because I am a teenage boy and I'm supposed to be cool and be with as many girls as I can but I don't care. I may sound naive saying these things but they don't know me. They don't know what I am. They are merely cynical people who don't love enough.
Sometimes I feel like you don't appreciate me though. I have never lied even once to you. I have even told you things that you didn't want to here if only because they were true and you needed to hear them. I never broke a promise that I have made to you. Whenever you have been down I have been there to pick you up. You may not have let me but I was there.
I would take a bullet for you. It wouldn't be a hard decision. I have thought about it many times and I simply value your life more than my own. If my entire purpose of being alive and on earth was to keep you living I would be fine with that.
Anyone who claims that I speak empty words is mistaken. They don't know me. They may think that I write this in a moment of infatuation but I have made a decision to love you. I don't feel like loving you, I have chosen to love you. We have had many hard times but even when you were at your lowest point and said things that you didn't mean. I never once stopped loving you.
I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. I am just a man and I make mistakes, even with the best intentions.
You compare me to many of your friends at school. The ones with big muscles who work out. I work out too. Maybe not as much but I guarantee you, I could beat any one of them. Even just out of sheer determination and will. I could beat them because I am fueled by love which I will never run out of and I would never give up.
Know this: I Love You, and I always will. No matter what happens. I may not end up with you but I will never stop loving you.
best friend show down
For some reason, I just have to compete with my best friend, even if it is losing something that I love to do (including smoking). If she quits, I try to quit. If she loses weight, I want to lose weight. No matter what she does, I give her a negative comment, yet act like it does not bother me. And as bad as this sounds, I am slowly confessing to myself that I do not want her to look better" than I do."
Regret. The first time i regret something. There was a store window open. Me and five other frends decided to go in. I went in the window first, and opened the door for the other people, then I ran out. I didnt grab anything but I feel guilty for going in. I wasn't raised like that. I'm not sure what to do.
I want to tell my parents and do what's right, but I'm scared.
I can't get that night out of my head. we were both somewhat drunk and talked till 5am. I told you how I felt and you told me. I remember crying and you holding me tight. You said you care for me and my heart began to melt.
We looked into eachother's eyes, now every time I close them all I see now is you. I feel like next time were alone I'll give into my desires and have you for the night.
But I shouldn't you said you hate relationships. So what is this? I care for you way more then I should and I know next time this happens, I'll stupidly say I love you and you'll embrace it or break my heart.
The thought makes me feel sick, I love it when you hold me and I love it when you're around. I don't want you to go away. I'm so confused about it all I want to do is cry.
I think either way I'm going to get hurt here. I just got to figure out which option would hurt less.
I love my best friend..
I'm in love, I admit it. I'm totally in love with my best friend. When we first met we kind of had something for a week, nothing really happened. It was for just a week, I felt pretty bad when she told me her feelings for me were.. gone.
When it happened. I had hurt her, emotionally.
A bit later, I started liking a good friend of hers, she was attracted to me as well. Things eventually grew into a relationship. That relationship was based on the lie that I was done with my best friend. I infact never was over her. During my relationship my love actually grew.
I love my best friend more then anything in the world. I need her in my life.
And yet.. she'll never be there for me like I am for her.
Late '07 things were said which caused me, when she was trying to give me a kiss on my cheek, to turn my head so she kissed me on the lips instead. It felt really great, better then with my (by this time ex-) girlfriend. In doing so I damaged her trust in me...
Just before '08 there was a brief moment in which hope sparked in me. I was at her place and she was at one point, and she never does this, lying/sitting against me with her head on my chest... A couple times I couldve kissed her, thats how close we were...
What the hell can I do to either get over her or get her.. I know I need to let her go but I don't want to...
i become obsessed with whoever will take interest in me.
i become possessive and believe that they are mine and should pay attention to me.
it makes me stressed out and upset and miserable.
today i was poked" on a website by a good looking guy. i poked back and checked every 5 minutes for the next 3 hours to see if he poked again. he didnt.
I drove drunk and wrecked my car.
i hate how my parents just cant leave me alone; they tell me to grow up but wont let me do it; they cant leave me to myself for even an hour at a time; i want to move out and i really want to go out of state for college but they just down talk every decision or thought i have; i love my parents but i hate them too
i stalk my other's ex.
i have been
i have been toying with you.
When i was young i spat on a war memorial. I didn't really understand what it was, but i can just imagine what people who saw me must have thought.
at event as much as i did.... i watched them for a second... and spoke honestly and a lot of them didnt know what to do.... perhaps i like to think that the reason why that happen was due to that fact that just arent honest to each other around here.....
friends pretending to be friends
So.... I lived 10 years of my life abroad and I finally moved back to Brazil......Shit things are so different here..... I mean.... growing up in America was fun but i was a child...going to university in Canada was awesome... made great friends...great fucking memories..... but here in Brazil, this so call paradise" ...things are different.... So the story goes like this.... I was at this wicked party
I need 2 start living
Alright so basically high school is pretty much a drag. Everyone follows horrible cliches and im tired of it. But, that really isnt my problem since im the socially acceptable type... its just that ive been working my ass off to get into the college of my choice. This has resulted in me not living life at all. Its all about getting into college far away from my mother and her problems which have always been mine like paying bills. Im tired of having to worry over how were gonna pay for dinner or having to act like a perfect stupid little daughter. Yes i did it all for her... i knew god forbid had i made a mistake in my high school years my mother would have had a nervouse breakdown. Its all because he (my bro) has given her hell for years. (high school drop out, jail, drugs, jobless, living off of her) She has reason to move on because of me... i give her strength in that she knows that im doing well in school and therefor she must
keep the home in order. So, i had to restrain my otherwise wild behavior ALL 4 HER! Its often led my friends to beleive me to be some boring ass girl but i know other ways and even my mom has noticed what i really am like at times. But, never the less the result of all of this is that ive pretty much never had a date before. I know im not the only one but, it frustrates me to think that it is january of my senior year and i have never been kissed by a guy. Pretty goddamn pathetic if i do say so myself. Yet i have to look at myself realistically that im not beautiful like my friends. And this is really awful to say and i am sorry for it but, i cant help but feel annoyed that the only guys i have attracted are not pleasing to the eyes (i admit i have shallowness but, its not extreme) or mentally unstable. (right now a friend of mine just confessed he likes me... 4 days after he tried to commit suicide) My logic is pretty messed up when it comes to relationships because my mother and father have had the most
ugliest relationship i had ever seen. They make me fear me commitment because although they were never married i have seen 2 much ugliness in their relationship 2 see the benefit of a relationship at all. And because my mother still wants my dad even though he left us a long time ago it makes me fear rejection the way she was rejected by my father. I do not want that. Hence ive developed a distrust of guys in general. I feel they are only nice to the pretty girls and there is truth in this that cannot be denied. So basically i wanna start loving life...going to college away from the problems i have now. Hell i just wanna get good grades and get a boyfriend... it sounds pretty messed up but, i do fear the idea of a relationship because i fear rejection.