An ode to old age
There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,
And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie.
My hair's getting thinner, my body is not;
The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.

I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5;
My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.
When asked of my past, every detail I'll know,
But what was I doing 10 minutes ago?

Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?
I'm off to read the obituary, like I do every day;
If my names not there, I'll once again start -
Perfecting the art of falling apart

Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Proverbs ======================
A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper. All men eat, but Fu Man Chu. Crowded elevator smells different to midget. He who eats too many prunes, sits on potty many moons If you want pretty nurse, you must be patient. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. Man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Man who farts in church sits in own pew. Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.Man who get hit by car,get that run down feeling
Man who gets too big for his britches may get exposed in the end.Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.
Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion. Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement. Man who pee on electric fence receive shocking news. Man who places head in sand will get kicked in the end. Man who pushes piano down mine shaft get A flat miner.Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.
Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who sit on tack get point. Man who sleep in bed of nails is holy. Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands. Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloon.
Man with one chopstick go hungry. Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.