Our Friends
Comedians Quotes
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If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play. (Quote by - George Carlin)
Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'. (Quote by - Steven Wright)
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it. (Quote by - George Carlin)
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem. (Quote by - George Carlin)
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. (Quote by - Groucho Marx)
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. (Quote by - Woody Allen)
I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine. (Quote by - George Carlin)
I told her the thing I loved most about her was her mind. because that's what told her to get into bed with me naked. (Quote by - Steven Wright)
While I was doing this, a neighbor walked up, and I just want to say that if you think it's easy to explain why you're squatting in your driveway, in front of a set of burning underwear, surrounded by hair spray bottles, holding a Barbie doll in your hand, then you are mistaken. (Quote by - Dave Barry)
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. (Quote by - Steven Wright)
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. (Quote by - George Burns)
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. (Quote by - Woody Allen)
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things. (Quote by - Woody Allen)
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. (Quote by - George Burns)