- why does the Mississippi river see so well?
Because it has five "i"'s.
- Why do witches fly brooms?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
- Why did the snail cross the road?
I'll tell you when he gets there.
- Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
- How do goldfish go into business?
They start on a small scale.
- Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop.
- Why are four legged animals so bad at dancing?
Because they have two left feet.
- April showers bring mayflowers, then what do mayflowers bring?
- Why was Cinderalla so bad at soccer?
Because she ran away from the ball.
- Where does bad light go?
- How does a witch tell time?
With a witch watch.
- What comes after a monkey?
- What goes up when the rain comes down?
- Why did the skeleton go to the barbeque?
Because he wanted some spare ribs.
- Why is the ocean so friendly?
Because it gives big waves.
- What color is a burp?
- How do you make a band stand?
Take away their chairs.
- What did the left ear say to the right ear?
Between us, we have brains.
- What's smaller than an ant's mouth?
An ant's dinner.
- Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because he already had a thousand degrees.