- Why did the golfer take two pairs of pants to the golf match?
In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a snail on a boat?
- How do you know carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
- What kind of building has the most stories?
- Why did the cow wear a bell?
Because its horns don't work.
- What is the difference between a bird and fly?
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.
- On what kind of ships do students study?
- What do cows say when they want someone to move?
- Why did fruit punch and cereal box?
Because they were having a food fight.
- Why did the little fella sleep on the chandelier? Because he
was a light sleeper.
- Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything.
- What kind of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor.
- Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
- If you were in a candy shop and you were about to die what kind of candy would you get?
A life saver.
- why does the Mississippi river see so well?
Because it has five "i"'s.
- Why do witches fly brooms?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
- Why did the snail cross the road?
I'll tell you when he gets there.
- Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
- How do goldfish go into business?
They start on a small scale.
- Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop.