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Recently, a radio talk show host in Portland, Ore., asked her audience to
come up with an official name for the new Clinton $1.7 million house in
Chappaqua, New York. Her call-in contest required the names to be in
relative good taste, original, and should capture the essence of one or both
of the Clintons.

The response was overwhelming! Some names nominated for the Clinton's new
home included:

Perjurers' Palace
HillBilly Villa
The House of Bill's Repute
Drawers Downs
Cheatem Estates
Castle of Contempt
Sin Simeon
The House That Terry Bought
The Knee Pad
The White Trash House
The Blight House
The Panderosa
Liars' Lair
Bill & Hill's Bribe & Breakfast
The Clinton Compost
Dogpatch on the Hudson
Rancho Immoral
Deceitful Domicile
Monica's Man's Manor
The Hen House
The Out House
The Big House
The Love Shack
Lucifer's Lair
The House of Seven Felonies
Cottage of Contempt

But the clear, hands-down winner was-

DISGRACELAND

You're so slow you came third in a two man race.

What is the thing that you keep on looking for and when you find it you throw it away?

A booger.

One day, a man was telling his co-worker that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there.

When asked why, he replied that even though he would be passing up a big salary increase and greater benefits, he was just too afraid of all the crime and did not desire to risk being mugged just to get to work.

His co-worker asked him to reconsider, noting that Chicago was a magnificent city, with world class museums, loaded with a great history, sites, good public transportation, etc.

Then he said, "Why I myself worked in Chicago for over 10 years, and in all that time I had no problem with crime."

The first asked, "What type of work did you do there?"

To which the other replied, "Oh, I rode as an armed security guard on a Brink's armored car."


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This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. "Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I'd like to be buried at sea." So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, "Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their Nets Brought in Patrick McRay in a Coffin, 3 Shovels and the Bodies of His Three Sons... Funeral arrangements haven't yet been made, however, it is believed all wished to be buried at sea."

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