Dumb.com Jokes - Funny T-Shirt Sayings

Funny T-Shirt Sayings

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- Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

- Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.

- The meek shall inherit the Earth after we're done with it.

- The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

- Love is blind but like is just too freaked out to see straight.

- When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.

- Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

- Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.

- Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.

- We are the people our parents warned us about.

- Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.

- Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

- How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?

- There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.

- Power means not having to respond.

- Never kick a man unless he's down.

- Everything you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.

- The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

- I'm not as dumb as you look.

- I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

- When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

- Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.

- I'm not going deaf. I'm ignoring you.

- I'm the person your mother warned you about.

- I can tell you're lying. Your lips are moving.

- Our parents were never our age.

- Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

- In the country of the blind the one eye'd man is king.

-He who laughs last has not been told the terrible truth.

- It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys.

- He who laughs last didn't get the joke.

- You can't fall off the floor.

- I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

- I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.

- Yesterday was the deadline on all complaints.

- The future isn't what it used to be.

- Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.

- I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

- Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?

- There is no gravity. The Earth sucks.

- Bureaucrats do not change the course of the ship of state. They merely adjust the compass.

- The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

- You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.

- I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't make any difference.

-Those of you who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.

- When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

- It's not that you and I are so clever, but that the others are such fools.

- I'm not cynical, just experienced.

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