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Funny T-Shirt Sayings
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- Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
 
- Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
 
- The meek shall inherit the Earth after we're done with it.
 
- The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
 
- Love is blind but like is just too freaked out to see straight.
 
- When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
 
- Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
 
- Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
 
- Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
 
- We are the people our parents warned us about.
 
- Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
 
- Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
 
- How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?
 
- There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.
 
- Power means not having to respond.
 
- Never kick a man unless he's down.
 
- Everything you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.
 
- The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
 
- I'm not as dumb as you look.
 
- I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
 
- When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
 
- Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.
 
- I'm not going deaf. I'm ignoring you.
 
- I'm the person your mother warned you about.
 
- I can tell you're lying. Your lips are moving.
 
- Our parents were never our age.
 
- Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
 
- In the country of the blind the one eye'd man is king.
 
-He who laughs last has not been told the terrible truth.
 
- It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys.
 
- He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
 
- You can't fall off the floor.
 
- I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.
 
- I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.
 
- Yesterday was the deadline on all complaints.
 
- The future isn't what it used to be.
 
- Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
 
- I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
 
- Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?
 
- There is no gravity. The Earth sucks.
 
- Bureaucrats do not change the course of the ship of state. They merely adjust the compass.
 
- The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
 
- You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.
 
- I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't make any difference.
 
-Those of you who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.
 
- When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
 
- It's not that you and I are so clever, but that the others are such fools.
 
- I'm not cynical, just experienced.


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