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A host served his guest fish every meal. However, most of the fish had had their middle sections cut out. The guest asked, "Where are the fish from?"

"From the pond," the host answered.

"No, they must be from the well. That would explain why they're so short."

Is that your head or did someone plant a pumpkin on your neck?

A guy walks into a store and says to the managaer "why doesn't your store have a name", the store manager says "I haven't thought of one yet but I think u can help me, what's your girlfriend's name." The guy says "Jenny" then the store owner says "What's do you like most about Jenny" and the guysays "her legs." So the store manager says "ok that's what we'll call my store Jenny's Legs. Here's a coupon come back tomorrow morning and you can have a free drink." And the man says "ok."The next day the man comes back to the store banging on the window yelling " where's my free drink, where's my free drink!" Then a police officer comesup to him and says "What are you doing?" and the guy says "I'm waiting for Jenny's Legs to open up."

Dentist: "Would you help me out? I'd like you togive a few of your loudest screams." Patient: "Why, Doc? It isn't all that bad this time." Dentist: "Well, there are about 20 people in thewaiting room right now, and I don't want to missthe five o'clock Braves game on Channel 4."

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replies, "Hell, I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks!"

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