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Christmas Jokes

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.

If a reindeer lost its tail, where could he get a new one?
At a retail store.

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ?
Thanks, I'll never part with it.

What did the grape say to the peanut butter?
"'Tis the season to be jelly".

Why didn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
He had no body to go with.

What did the big candle say to the little candle?
I'm going out tonight.

What do you sing at a snowman's birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.

What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drum sticks.

What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark?
Frost bite.

What happened to the guy who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas?
He got 12 months.

What do you call an old snowman?

What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
Neither, candles always burn shorter.

Why did the mosquito buzz around the bar?
Because he was a "bar humbug".

Why did Santa Claus take his Christmas tree to the dentist?
To get a root canal.

What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
The letter "Y".

What kind of money do they use at the North Pole?
Cold cash.

What did the reindeer say before beginning his comedy routine?
This will sleigh you

Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
He was feeling crummy.

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
They both drop their needles.

How is the Christmas alphabet different from the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

Why is the turkey such a fashionable bird?
Because he's always well dressed when he comes to dinner.

What goes "oh, oh, oh"?
Santa walking backwards.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve.

How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed.

Where do snowmen go to dance?
A snow ball.

How do Santa and Mrs. Claus travel?
On an icicle built for two.

Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when the fire is lit?
Crisp Cringle.

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

Why will Santa go down your chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him.

What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum - you can't beat it.

What do you call a reindeer who wears ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you.

How much difference is there between the North Pole and the South Pole?
All the difference in the world.

What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?
Silent Night.

What do you call an ELF who sings?
A Wrapper.

What carol is heard in the dessert?
Camel ye faithful.

What happened when the snowwoman got angry at the snowman?
She gave him the cold shoulder.

Why does Scrooge love reindeer?
Because every buck is deer to him.

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