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How To Annoy People In An Elevator
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  • Meow or bark occasionally.
  • Push the buttons & pretend they give you a shock. Smile & go back for more.
  • Greet everyone who comes in the elevator with a big handshake.
  • Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
  • Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action.
  • Recite poetry to everyone you meet.
  • Lean against the button panel.
  • Get two cell phones and talk to yourself on them.
  • Scream the floor number as you pass it.
  • Floss your teeth
  • Bring a portable DVD player and watch your favorite movie with the volume on high
  • Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
  • Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
  • Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
  • Start a sing-a-long.
  • Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
  • Drop a bag of groceries and look around like it was the other peoples fault.
  • Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
  • Hold the doors open and say you are waiting for a friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say "Hey Greg, How's your day been?"
  • Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
  • When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
  • Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
  • Grab a pillow and attempt to fall asleep
  • Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
  • Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to other people.
  • Shadow box.
  • Stand really close to someone and sniff them occasionally.
  • Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  • Face the corner and don’t move
  • Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
  • Call a girl a dude.
  • Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
  • If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
  • Call out, "Group Hug!" & then enforce it.
  • Whenever someone steps in the elevator in a deep voice say, "GET OUT!"
  • Bring a camera & take pictures of everyone on the elevator.
  • Sing the 99 bottles of beer song.
  • Pretend you are selling something in an infomercial.
  • Ask if you can push the button for the other people and push the wrong ones.
  • When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's ok! Don't panic, they will open again!"
  • Swat at flies that aren't there.
  • Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
  • Break dance to elevator music.
  • Have a fake obnoxious cell phone conversation
  • Pretend you're invisible
  • Lay out a small blanket and some food to have a picnic
  • Murmur and/or talk to yourself
  • Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
  • Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
  • Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
  • One word: Flatulence!
  • Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  • Play the harmonica.
  • When the elevator dings, scream.
  • Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it is getting larger!"
  • Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
  • Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
  • Pick your ear wax.
  • Scratch your head excessively
  • Walk on making dinosaur noises and nudge people with your nose.
  • Say “ding” every time you reach a new floor
  • Put powdered sugar in your hair and scratch your head a lot.
  • Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like Bush is still President.
  • Sell Girl Scout cookies.
  • Leave a box between the doors.
  • Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers "I must avenge the death of my father."
  • Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
  • Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
  • Drop and pen & wait until someone goes to pick it up and then scream "NOOO THAT'S MINE!"
  • Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."
  • Tie bells to all your clothes.
  • Sing really off pitch to a popular song.
  • Set up a chair and desk in the elevator, and whenever anyone gets on, say, "Hello! Welcome to my office. Do you have an appointment?"
  • Sway from side to side the whole ride.
  • Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
  • Blow spit-bubbles.
  • Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
  • Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut-Up, all of you, just shut up!"
  • Rock back and forth while sucking on your thumb
  • Fake cough/sneeze uncontrollably
  • Call McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening.
  • Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
  • Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
  • Bring a Twister mat and ask if people want to play.
  • When you get to your floor try and open the doors yourself and act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
  • Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you are on.
  • Bring a chair along.
  • Ask people what gender they are.
  • Moan "Oh no! Not now! Damn motion sickness!"
  • Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" over and over again.
  • Insist to a stranger that you're related
  • Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
  • Drum on every available surface.
  • Act drunk.
  • Do Tai Chi exercises.


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