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A Mysterious Letter
A man got a kick out of turning simple things into mysteries when composing a letter, though he was not good at all at writing.

One day his father told him to write a letter to his brother and tell him four things:

A villager died not long ago.
The price of meat has gone up.
The household has employed a new accountant.
His brother's wife is going to have a baby.
When the son had finished, however, the letter read:
"A villager died not long ago. The meat sold for 179 silver coins.

The household has employed a new accountant. My sister-in-law's belly is getting bigger and bigger."

He soon got an angry answer from his brother:

"Domestic shame should not be made public. How can the flesh of the dead be sold to others?"




A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic...
A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to Little Johnny . So she said , "If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?""Somebody else's pants." said the Little Johnny.
Apple sues Apple Corp
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

Apple Corporation Sues Itself.

[AP] In a move that has industrial analysts scratching their heads, Apple Computers has filed suit against Apple Computers Corporation. The company claims that Apple has violated the Look and Feel of their own machines which has helped to make the company famous.

An Apple Spokesperson stated "This is no joke. If we don't protect our copyrighted interface, everyone will use it and we could lose the exclusive right. So it is in our best interests to sue anyone who uses the Macintosh Look and Feel, including ourselves." The spokesperson says Apple has retained the prestigious LA law firm of Kukla, Fran and Ollie to spearhead the lawsuit. Apple's in house lawyers will defend.

Long time Apple observer Ernest Dinklefwat stated that this is a sure sign that Apple has too many lawyers and not enough engineers. "In the old days Apple depended on its talented engineers to keep ahead of the competition, but now they have lost the edge, as well as their grasp on reality."

The industry will be sure to watch this case closely. If Apple wins the suit against itself, this could mean a massive recall of all Macintosh and Lisa computers which will need to be converted to avoid all graphics and desktop metaphors and instead provide a simple terminal-like interface. Such a move would cause a massive digression in the personal computer market. Users of computers would be forced to learn to read, which could cause dangerous literacy among college students and professionals.
The Joys of PMS
Women complain about Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, but I think of
it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

--Roseanne
Microsoft Works
Microsoft Works
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