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A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Sherry? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"
She says, "Morris, I want a divorce."
He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much

Did you hear about the Polish Navy's tragic accident?A hundred and thirty-seven sailors drowned trying to push-starttheir new submarine.

How can you identify an blind pirate?He's the one with patches over both eyes.

Two donkeys walk into a bar and the first donkey says to the bartender ''I'll have a pint of Bud please'' and the second donkey says ''hee haw, hee haw, he always orders that''

Yo' mama so dumb, she bought a solar powered flash light!

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