Insults:

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you.
The last time I saw a face like yours I threw it a fish!
The mind reader had a very busy day today reading minds. You were a vacation for him.
You're so boring, your dreams have Muzak.
You're so dumb, blondes tell jokes about you.
The twinkle in your eyes is actually the sun shining between your ears.
Your family tree is a tumbleweed.
I'll hit you so hard by the time you come down, you'll need a passport and plane ticket back