Insults:

If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move?
If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence.
Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.
I feel sorry for you because you are so homely, but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.
I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club because they need someone to snub.
I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.
If my dog had your face, I would shave his ass and make him walk backwards.
You are so old, even your memory is in black and white.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.