Insults:

We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
What are you going to do for a face when the babboon wants his ass back?
When they made you, they broke the mold---and beat the mold maker.
When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in.
Believe me, I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit?
I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
I fart to make you smell better.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.
Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.