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Never get hurt on the job.....
At the last job I worked at, we had a session about safety and how to handle materials that we worked with in order to avoid work related injuries. (Not to mention that we did not have health coverage from that company).
The next day I came to work, I was ready to take the trash out to the dumpster, I pushed the trash down in the bag for it to fit the bag, the next thing I knew I cut my finger and I reported to my supervisor to my big surprise all he could say was "go home and have some rest................."

oopsie
My friend got fired ON THERE DAY OFF!!! Reason being that they shipped boxes to the wrong address in another state the day before.
damn fat dude
this fat guy got me fired by farting beside me and my boss thought it was me
how i got fired by a 9 yr old
Well i was in a band with my cousin who was like 9 and we had pretty good business and one day i showed up 4 practice and she was like "i found a cello player we don't need a singer anymore". and i was like how old is this kid? and she said"6". and i just flipped out. But now i have a new band with people i can trust.
Me and My Boss
It was April Fools Day.
I'd just got to work to find my boss wanted to see me. As I went to his office and sat down, he collapsed. I rushed around for help and to ring an ambulance, but before I did he jumped up to say April Fools. Needless to say I was relieved but also slightly annoyed so I decided I was going to get him back.
I thought very long and hard but the best I could think of was to place something in his office that would make him jump. So me and a few of my colleagues set up a trap while he was in a meeting, we made an alarm go off that would make him jump then as he got up to turned the alarm off he would walk through some fishing wire which would make a box tip upsided down full of mayonaise. It worked perfectly yet little did we know he was quite allergic to mayonaise and had to go to the hospital, so I got fired when he came back to work.
Here's some roses your fired.
So I was working at this ambulance company. It was my second week training and it just so happened it was my birthday. They bought me a cake and an expensive vase with roses thent he next day they fired me. Isnt that nice? Happy Birthday, your fired.
Crapple Bee's
I was a waitress at at Applebees, I got so sick of the cheap people that would come out to eat and order a whole bunch of half price appetizers during happy hour and not leave me a tip. So I started serving underage
kids liquor for a fee. I also used to get my manger's card to comp food off the bill so I could pocket the money. In my last attempt I tried to give my manager a 10 dollar coupon for another cheap table, but then he confronted the table and I was fired! Thank God.
On a good one
I worked at the Ram restaurant and Brewery in Kent, WA. I was a server. I had to be to work at % in the evening so i decided to get drunk before. I had like 9 shots of vodka and a pack of cigarettes. I showed up to work totally blasted and everbody knew it. I even told them! They let me work my shift and then I was fired the next day.

Mrs Heavyweight
I was working as a driver for a limosuine company. I was sent to the airport to pick up a lady who had to weigh 350-400 Lbs. When I got her home to her house to drop her off, she couldn't get the seatbelt unfastened. The more she struggled the more difficult it became. She started to panic and scream. This of course attracted a lot of her neighbors who came outside to see what was happening. I called my boss on the radio from the car and asked him what i should do. He said do whatever it takes to get her out of the car, because you have to hurry back to the airport for another pickup. That's all they care about is the next pickup. So I took out my pocket knife and leaned over her to try to cut the belt off. Someone who saw this called the police. They showed up guns drawn and needless to say I had quite a time explaining. I was fired for not being able to get back for my next pickup.
Experience not wanted
I got fired because they didn't want to pay for experienced employees anymore and felt I was being over-paid. It's fun, because they were the idiots that were giving me raises all along.
ink explosions
one day i decided to blow up some ink tags, you know the ones they put on clothes so people dont steal them, well i blew up a couple of them by stomping on them or throwing them against the wall, ink was everywhere :)! i was fired the next day by my fat, ugly manager.
babysitting
I was babysitting and I got fired because i let a child have one cookie.
Night Shift
While working the night shift at a soda distribution warehouse there were about 20 of us driving around on pallet jacks filling orders for supermarkets and the like and loading them on truck to be delivered in the morning. I came around a corner and was side-swiped by one of my co-workers. My jack was loaded, his was empty so he bounced into a stack of cases of sobe. The impact broke about half of the pallet load (some 400 bottles) and he was pissed. He shoved be off my jack and took a couple swings at me. Though I wasn't hurt I wanted the jerk fired. Unfourtunately he was union and I wasn't. I got fired for fighting on the job. When I threatened a lawsuit over it, the company paid me for the rest of the season (it was a summer job) and my supervisor wrote me a glowing letter of recomendation for any future jobs.
screen saver
my best freinds computers screensaver said "if u are reading this u r fired, yes u tony see me in my office asap"
DICKS SPORTING GOODS
I worked for DICKS SPORTING GOODS in Las Vegas, NV. That was until I got fired because I was sick. I mean really sick. I was throwing up and had to have someone from another department watch the register while I ran to the bathroom to puke my guts out. What happened was this, I had some sort of food poisoning and was throwing up alot, to the point where I just about threw up on my register. I needed to go home. This was at around 9:00am and I called my boss (CHRIS C.) and told him I needed to go home because I was throwing up. Now, I also hurt my back on the job, went to physical therapy and had a doctors note stating that I couldn't lift no more than 10 lbs. But this job didn't care and I was still lifting. Anyways, I needed to go home and my boss assured me that Id be able to leave at 11am when another person came in...No one showed up, and 12:00 passed, then 1pm...then 2pm... and by 3 I couldn't take it anymore so I left and went home.
Now I show up for work the next day and get fired by my boss Chris C. because he wouldn't let me go home. Do you know how unhealthy that was, not only for me but for my customers too... so i got my things, went home, took a hot shower and went to bed! The very next day I got a new job with UC Inc. located in the LVOC and I love it. I am currently still employed by UC Inc., the best company I've ever worked for!
Off the ramp
I worked at an automotive shop doing oil changes and tire rotations. To do an oil change I had to drive the cars onto a narrow ramp just wide enought to drive a car on. One day I hade to drive a truck onto this ramp and change the oil. As I was about to drive up the ramp, I meant to hit the break but accedently pushed the gas. I lost control of the truck and hurrled that truck right off the ramp. All this happened while the owner watched from about ten feet away. I went home after that never to work at an automotive shop again.
blue hair
well my story does like this i woke up one day and decided to color my hair blue and went to work and i walked in and all the workers looked at me and were cheering me on and a costumer walked in and started talking to me and the boss wanted me to get back to work so i did and that day my boss came up to me after my shift and said here is up months pay go home and that is my story
Back Injury
I worked in a nursing home for almost a year when we got a resident that had dementia, and a slight case of schizoprenia. I was all by myself one night and she fell on me and pulled my back, when I got her back into bed she was trying to scratch and bite my arm. I was sent to the doctor the very next day....The doctor confirmed that I had pulled my back.

So my employer would not give me any days off, making me work 12 hours a day, even though the doctor's order said to rest as much as possible. So I asked for a weeks vacation time, and it was approved.

The third day of my vacation I got a call from my boss, stating that I had not showed up the night before so now I am fired. She ignored the fact that I was on approved vacation. She didn't want me to sue for the back injury so she fired me instead!!!!!!!!!
Dilly Bar Disaster
I had worked at DQ for about a month, and they NEVER gave free food, not even a fry. Not even if it was a mess up order. So one day, I was really freakin' hungry, and I had no money on me to spend on a hamburger. Me and my friend Tiff always would spot for eachother while we wolfed down dillybars in the big freezer, but Tiff wasnt working. I decided to go eat one anyway. I went in the freezer and got to work on a rock hard dilly bar. Once I was FROZEN and finished eating it, I went to open the freezer door, but it was locked! I started banging on the door but no one could here. Finally about 5 mins later someone opened the door, and I walked out all casually as if I had been in there for no more than a minute. Next day, I got a phone call from my boss saying there was hidden cameras in the freezer, and my dilly bar stealing days were over.
I was fired from my receptionost post
I was working as a receptionist in a reputed company. One day in the morning when i was going for work, my mom asked me to buy some things from the mall while returning. In the office, she called me to remind of mall. Between her call, the mager of the company(an old lady) called me for getting some files ready. Call got connected to the manager and I thought that my mom was on the line. I said "I love you". I intended that for my mom, but, the manager heard it. When the manager came to the office, she acted to me differently. Next day, the boss called me and asked me that do I really love the manager. I said that she is good at her works. And he gave me the dismissal order silently. I thought that it would be a promotion letter, but was shocked to find that it wasn't.

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