Sometimes I can't stand my roommate. I just wish they would stop using my stuff, stop being hypocritical, and stop being so damn insensitive... I feel bad that I feel this way and I've tried to look on the brighter side of living with them, but overall it's just a really annoying situation.
I still love her deeply. What am I to think what she is doing with her life is wrong, I'm not a part of it anymore. Maybe I'm just being over protective of her or maybe i just know her well enough that shes making another mistake in her life... who knows. Now that i have confessed my love for her, it's time to lock away these feelings and move on with my life.
I remember...every time i think bout her...i just think of what i could have had with her. I always think about how she was the coolest chick, almost perfect for me. Only if i had more time, maybe if i lived in a different location...somethin could have happened...who knows. All i gotta do now is find a chica that even compares to her, cuz its hard...real hard.
I know I am not alone in this but at times, actually all the time I feel so inadequate. It's as if I do not measure to anyone or in anything I do. I wonder sometimes if I should just tell myself that things are good enough or if I strive to do better and be better.
when i'm at work, i usually surf the internet for 80% of the day. i just act really busy. like george castanza on seinfeld
i have to work 8 hours for this doode at work cus i'm covering his shift and i dont want to. but i will cus i'm a champ. :)
i have a problem with lying. sometimes it's helpful because i don't like hurting other people's feelings. but other times, it just comes out. i am a compulsive liar.
I'm constantly paranoid. I think everybody is out to get me, even those who profess their love for me. Oftentimes, I purposefully isolate myself, causing delusional waking nightmares.
Jesus has and always will be my sole purpose in this life... even though im so jacked up, full of ugliness, darkness, evil... i know that I am forever loved by a love that I will never fully comprehend... sigh*
today i was with my friend and he got a call from my other girlfriend. i could totally hear them talking and i overheard her inviting him to a party coming up. she listed off all the people going and my ex was one of them. after they hung up, she never called me. i knew this was going to happen- that sooner or later, since me & my ex were in the same friend group that they'd start picking one of us to events and not the other. I plastered a smile to my face all day, but i was SO ANNOYED/PISSED/FRUSTRATED/SAD/ and really really bothered, but i know its really stupid to feel this way. Honestly, i just wish my ex would move away and give me my friends back. Or maybe I should move away and get a group of new friends.
my best friend and i are drifting apart since we go to colleges in different towns. we pretend like everything is fine. we talk on the phone but we seem so distant now and when she comes back into town during the weekends we try to hang out, but with my job i have to work and we don't get to spend the time we use to. i'm scared that i'm losing my best friend and there is nothing i can do about it, everyone else thinks we are still the best friend duo we were in high school but we aren't anymore and this is the first time i've admited it to myself. i cry because if lose her i know i will lose a part of who i am and all i will have left are my memories.
I spent the last few days, simply searching for pictures online of one of my favorite anime, Gatchaman!!! I was so unfocused on my studies that I completely forgot about what was due!!! AH!!
I lied to one of my friends and told her that I had no feelings for her crush...and now I'm getting dreams about Him, telling me He likes me.
I have a crush on Cindy, and she knows it. :-)
i'm going to flunk my econ class because i didn't do the assignment due today and i'm not going to do the project due on tuesday that i was supposed to have started two months ago. i also have 2 essays due tomorrow that i haven't started.
two weeks ago I had a midterm and it was worth 25% OF MY GRADE. i couldn't study because I was watching the FRIENDs DVDs and I couldnt get myself to stop watching and at around 4 am i was so tired that I just fell asleep. So when I woke up in a panic and went to my midterm I tried to find the nerdiest person I could. I finally found a seat next to a Chinese nerd so seemed very nice and super smart. He had the thickest glasses on and that made me want to cheat even more, because I knew I would fail if i didnt cheat. Turns out that he had very bad vision so I totally copied off his paper and ended up getting an 95%. I feel bad becasue I dont deserve this A in my O Chem clas but yeah. Im very sorry!
I want to confess that I love my roomates now ex boyfriend. They recently broke up and me and him are seeing eachother. He tells me they did not break up because of me but I feel like I broke them up. I want to tell my roomate, that we are seeing eachother and that i am very sorry. I need to tell her soon because whenever she is sad about him... I know that IM the DEVIL. Sorry Charlize!!! Im really truely sorry and I love you!
I have to confess that I act nice to some girl that I dont really like. I like her sometimes.. truthfully I really do like her but sometimes her arrogance and how she thinks shes better than everyone. I like her when its only the two of us vbecause she acts normal But when shes around other people she gets insane. I need to confess thatr I really feel guilty for hating her so much sometimes becuase other times i really enjoy her company.