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I can't never do it right no matter what i do i feel ignorant stupid slow they are rude so uncaring because you talk about your family your putting your business out on the street they don't care about you are your family i need to remember they are not my friends and that hurts that you can't become friends with them because they are so unsocialable even Kathy she is rude and makes you feel stupid which i know that i am i cant get important like i did at barbe oh how i screwed myself up and can never go back there beause of my past and what i did will i ever be forgiven and needed again because she doesn't like me or wants me back God it is hopeless for me isn't it there is no chance for me at all is there there is no more chance for me is there God there is no way you will be able to tell me good job my faithful servant none there is no more hope for me is there. but God she was wrong to want her cell phone God she was wrong there and that was ok God In Jesus Name please help me and forgive me my sins In Jesus Name I pray


girlfriend

All i ever want to do is hang out with my girlfriend. I feel bored and lonely when im not around her. I ditch my friends to hang out with her. I just cant get enough of her.


I love you Julie.

You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. You are beautiful, intelligent, witty, determined, you have gorgeous eyes, a beautiful smile. Your figure is perfection. I yearn to hold you, to feel you against me, to kiss you, to run my fingers through your hair and to tell you how I really feel about you. Sometimes when we're talking I get this delicious little flutter in my stomach and have to catch my breath as inside I hear myself saying "I love you". I know you have some feelings for me, I have seen how you look at me, the strange little things you say and do around me sometimes, how you "accidentally" touch me and sit or walk close to me. Sometimes it's too much to bear, I can't get you out of my thoughts, sometimes I wish that I could just turn these emotions off and get on with things like before you came into my life. I can't thank you enough, you've awoken feelings in me that I haven't felt in years, I LIVE AGAIN!! But it can never, never be. I'm your boss. I've got my partner and family and you've got yours. I can never tell you how much you mean to me, how I feel about you and how much I am in your debt. And yet every day I see you, spend time around you, talk to you about work whilst gazing into those green-blue eyes and hear you planning your future - whilst I have to remain calm, collected and professional, not showing any hint of my inner turmoil. I am desolate and still I love you Julie.


Me

What happened! At first I was really pushing it, but then you hit 39 and wham! I've got it all in me..education...wife...son...own business...possessions, but I really need to get over that hump! I've got what it takes to feel good about myself, but I can't muster it up for some reason. I've got what it takes to be the next millionaire, but for some reason becoming a billionaire seems to be moving further and further away, for some reason. Ugggh! I can't put my finger on it. I need that light bubl to Click! And I need it to click, NOW!


Best Friend.

I'm in love with my best friend and there is no else to it. It kills me everyday to be around her. There's nothing I can do.. except watch her love other people.


my best friend in the world

my best friend in the world _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ i love him im in love with him i cant help it he is the best friend ive ever had and the best thing thats ever happened to me without him i dont know what i what do if i died i would kill myself i need him it scares me how much i love him! i need to tell him and i will at the formal :)


I am scared

I am scared that I am going to go for something I shouldn't. Should I just leave our friendship alone... or should I go for more. I want more. I've liked him for so long, and I know that he has liked me as well. Why is he waiting? Why is he so scared of it? Why am I so scared of it? We have always been this way. I've known him for so long. He has dated my best friend... I liked him the whole time they were together. It kills me to think that he'll never love me the way he loved her, when I know I love him and would do anything for him. Maybe I think he'll never love me because I feel I am not good enough for him. He is so smart, sweet, kind, and strong... I wish it would work out. I hate that there is this stupid age difference between us. Maybe if I was in college too it wouldn't be a problem. I hate waiting... but I'll do it anyway. I want to be with him. I really hope my heart doesn't get broken.


Slo Mo

The rest of the world is about 1/10 of me... They think about 10 times slower. Move about 10 times slower. I really think that most people are barely conscious. Maybe I am the next step in evolution, I dunno. I just know it is really frustrating to hold my composure when faced with sloth/stupidity/indecision (I do not really know what is holding everyone else back.) Does anyone else feel like this?


sin

I have sinned against God and my family. I have been unfaithful in body and soul. It is tearing me apart. I ask for Gods forgiveness. It is helping. I want to be a better person but know that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins. That is perfect grace from the lord above. I will do my best to forgive myself and put my trust in the Lord Jesus Christ that he has already paid for all of our sins.


Fear.

All I've ever wanted was a friend. All I ever wanted was to be liked. I want boys to think I'm pretty and want to date me. I want a boyfriend who has a job, money, and a car. I want a real family. I want to be a normal person. I want people to like me. I don't want people to judge me. I'm sick of wearing my heart on my sleeve. I'm sick of getting my heart broken. I'm sick of being uncapable of pushing people away. I'm sick of trusting people so easily. I'm sick of my addictions. I'm sick of the abuse. I'm afraid the abuse I have recieved my entire life has become normal for me. I'm afraid it's comfort. I'm afraid I'll fail at life the same way my brother did. I'm afraid that since my dad has never been around that we'll never build a relationship. I'm afraid I'll never find anyone who understands or excepts me. I'm afraid I will grow up to be fat, lazy, ugly, and a failure. I'm afraid I'll be nothing. I'm afraid society will never except me. I'm afraid to walk down the streets alone. I'm afraid I'll get assaulted. I'm afraid of men. I'm afraid of cars. I'm afraid of driving. I'm afraid of the future. I need a friend. I have no friends. I'm afraid I'm going to die alone... My mental disorder is getting the best of me....I can't take it anymore.


young man

im in love with a much younger guy, i left my older boyfriend to be with this man... im 31 and my ex is 39, the guy i left him for is 20!! wow if he only knew what i left him for....


i feel stupid

because i hope too much and though i always put on a cynical pessimistic front really i put my hope too much on things than probably wont work out. i really want this guy to like me, a lot, and i think he does, but i'm scared because i'm so excited. i shouldnt be excited, right? it should just be whatever. i dont want to get hurt again. not ever. i just HOPE (theres that word again) that he'll make the last time not as bad..... i'm stupid aren't i?


The love of my life

I have finally met the Love of my life. Since i have told her, she is avoiding me. This other guy also likes her, and apparently is REALLY into her. I want to have a relationship with her, but i'm just not sure what to do at this point. I hope God will show me the way and everything i do will be according to his will.


losing the girl

I just got back from my first date and it was great. I wasnt nervous more excited than anything. We both had a great time and loved each other company. We held hands and acted like a couple pretty much. I have been looking forward to this date and im so happy it turned out this way. I am going to see her the next day and cant wait. Theres no more being nervous im so anxious and cant wait to see her again. This is the happiest moment of my life.


i hate my ex

because he made me wasted an entire year and countless amount of food and money on him...not to mention the emotional trauma that he put me through.. but most of all i hate myself for being too stupid to see that he's not good enough for me.


not who i seem

I am not who i seem. I act like i have a great job and im set. I act like i have lots of money. Im in dept and i still live with my parents. I have a few friends from work and 1 from highschool. Im to scared to go to college and to scared to ask for help.


still in love

I think im still in love with my boyfriend that I broke up with almost two years ago. When he calls me or IM's me i can't help but get butterflies in my stomach. Sometimes i think he might feel the same way but then I just laugh at myself..


Thanksgiving

My father-in-law is dying, but I resent that I will have to spend the holidays with my in-laws instead of my parents. I know given the circumstances it is the right thing to do, but I am still sad and resentful. My in-laws are very selfish people that never did a thing to support my husband emotionally or financially. The stories he tells me of his childhood make me sad, as do the endless ways I have seen them disrespect and devalue him over the years. But mostly I am scared that I will get stuck with my MIL, who has been hurtful to me for the past 7 years. We moved cross-country and I am scared she will follow us after my FIL dies. Given the tenuous relationship we have and the previously distant relationship she had with my husband, it would be disastrous. I am worried the widow halo will blind him and I will end up paying for years.