What's wrong with me???
Nothing interesting EVER happens to me.. I'm a 20 year old female. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I live with my parents, I'm in college full time and online, I don't really have any friends besides my boyfriend, but he lives too far away to see him anymore... HOW THE HELL DID MY LIFE END UP THIS HORRIBLY BORING???????
I don't know what to do. I don't want to screw my life up more, but I want to have some sort of noteworthy" or "CONFESSIONworthy" experience to go on! you know????"
the boy that played
There is this boy...that i have always had my eye on. It was one of those crushes that everyone has but never actually thought that you could get with. Well during the start of the semester we got a class together, and by chance got seated next to each other as well. As we got to talking a relationship , albiet not a romantic, one was formed. Eventually we started talking alot and flirting. First very shly then publicly. It got to the point where we would hold hands in class, and we would whisper in my ear what he was thinking. I loved the attention, especially since it was comming from him. He then started asking if i had texting and whether or not he could call me. I had told him no on the texting since my last bill was no high i couldn't afford it, but i said he could call. But again i never thought anything would come from this game he was playing. Well during christmas when i turned my texting back on, i messaged him to wish him
a merry christmas. That started this long conversation on how life was going at the time, and eventually wound around to my love life. From there i replied that mine was pretty non-existent at the moment. He gave the ok sure response, like he didn't believe it. He then went on to say that his was pretty good, since he was getting back together with his ex, but was really crushing on this other girl who has showed no interest. I told him that any girl would be lucky to have him,and that she was stupid for not showing an interest. He then told me the one thing that i had been hoping he wouldn't. That girl is you, he said. I sat there stunned, not only was this a major shocker but it was not anything that i expected. I never in my wildest dreams thought it would happen, and when it did i had no idea what to say. Well needless to say we talked for hours, all over break. When school started we were lovedy dovy to each other, texting during class (cause the professor had moved the seats around), and just
flirting. But he still didn't say whether or not he was actually going for me or staying with the ex. So i told him that i would wait and that when he figured things out i would be here. I also told him that i had feelings for him. From the point on our relationship changed forever. I was no longer the conquest i had found out. He had me, and he knew it. Gradually the texts stopped, the calls stopped, and even the hugs stopped. I was in the past, something that he had already gotten, i was no longer the challenge. I felt completley heartbroken even tho nothing really happened between us. I let myself get attached before there was anything to seriously attach myself too. I knew he was bad, all my friends had warned me, but is just something about those bad boys. But yeah all i want to do know is kiss him on the last day of school, say have a great summer, and never talk to him again.
But im still sad to say that i think about him everyday and wonder what could have been. I hate myself for doing that and often wont let myself think about for more than a minute. But it is the fact that i do think about him that gets to me. I really wish that he had never come into my life, and that the guy that i liked could only be a fantasy.
i have an eating disorder...
i have BED (binge eating disorder)
i have struggled with this for years and never admitted it to myself. but now i am.
i hope and pray that the health risks and other complications will be enough reminder for me to be able to get a little better.
i hate that i did this to myself. it'll never go all the way away.
I am going to Iraq. I want to kill people. With my bare hands if possible. I will probably lose my girlfriend while I am over there. It sucks b/c i want to grow old and senile with this woman. The thought of being alone terrifies me.
makes me feel safe. Even though I am fully capable of meeting new people in person(and I have). I always seem to fall in love with people that live over 300 miles away, because even if they cheat or do something wrong- I don't ever have to find out.
you were fat and a really needy girl but i still loved you i wanted you to be the girl of my dreams even tho you werent going anywhere in life i thought you felt the same way but you couldnt even wait 5 months for me to get back from the militay as far as im concerned we are through i cant believe what you have become and every time i see you or hear your voice i feel like throwing up most the time i wish i never met you
He says he really likes me, but I dont feel the same. I think he is a bit too weird and ugly. I am so shallow, and I feel like the worst person in the world.
I love my boyfriend... I think.
I've been with my current boyfriend for almost two years. Whenever I am with him, things are great. This year it's different though. We attend different colleges and as much as I miss him and want to hang out with him, sometimes I get annoyed when he calls me. I just want to focus on school and hanging out with the people around me. It also doesn't help that there's this neighbor of mine, who I will call Alex. I'm attracted to him and even though I know that he would never go for a girl like me, I can't help but hope. Instead of dreaming about my boyfriend, I dream about my Alex. I can't figure out whether or not I'm bored with my boyfriend so I'm looking for some excitement or maybe I just don't love my boyfriend the way I used to. My boyfriend is the sweetest thing in the world though. We treat each other like best friends, and maybe that's the problem. I don't know. All I know is that I'm thinking about Alex
way more than my boyfriend. I hate myself for it sometimes, but I can't help the way I feel and I refuse to stop talking to Alex.
IM ADHD and it had a really bad effect on my family. my mom and i used to be best friend and she gave up job oppertuinitys to stay with the family. we had some really hard times i know ive told them i wish they died and hope they burned in hell. and told them i wished they werent my parents. since then my mom really hasnt been there for me i guess its to be expected its really not the saddest story out there but i guess i really miss when me and my mom had fun and when she loved me. im not even allowed in the house now
a pair of powerful spectacles...
I spent the last 3 years of my life with a girl I love more then anything, I still cant even really look at another gal and its been over 5 months since we split. Unfortunetally I spent the past 3 years of my life at the bottom of a bottle of whiskey by 9 am in the morn everyday. I quit drinking 4 months ago and it was like waking up from one nightmare to find myself in a worse one. I can't remember any of the things I supposedly did, or why she left, but I miss her more than anything and I just want a chance to make it up to her... the man she left wasnt me. It feels like some cruel demon possesed me and ripped away every bit of my life I care about. Now shes with her friends ex and she seems really happy. About 4 months ago, a month after me and her split I met and shortly dated another girl, and I really do love her too, shes a better match for me, and we get along more and have more in common, but I freaked out and
messed everything up because I wasnt (im still not entirely) over my ex, now shes in a relationship that she defines as "retarded", and I miss them both like crazy, the second girl calls on occasion and i call/text her, and we make alot of plans, but she never seems to follow through with any of it... I don't know if shes messing with my head or what man...I don't even know who out of the two of them I even want to be with, I love them both the same way, and nothings working out, so now its just that initial heartbreak x2. I'd never tell anyone about this, im not the kind of guy to talk about my emotions. I really dont know what to do, I want the second girl back more than anything... but I'm scared that ill screw it up again because im not over girl #1 completely....
I just dont know what to do.
if anyones reading this... I could use some advice...
i like the smell of my farts.
it just smells weird but i dont know just courious
I just binged on Poppycock cluster almonds. I hate myself right now.
I'm a Monster
I once ruined over a dozen friendships, just because I could. I don't think anyone realizes just how much I messed with them. I don't think anyone realizes how much I still mess with them. Its a power trip, and I don't feel bad. I keep telling myself that its self defense or they crossed me and deserved it. But that is not true. I think I've done some permanent damage to some people's lives. I guess I'm a monster.
I Can't Feel Anything
If my parents died tomorrow I wouldn't cry. I don't think I'd even care.
I love myself
Myself and only myself, i cant help it. I know its wrong but its true.
When you told me to remember the good times, I told you I'd rather forget them.
I hope to god...
i know that i am in love with you,even though we have never met. I feel it hard in the pit of my stomach.You have helped me so much & finally i am starting to feel complete.You let me depend on you when i keep afloat by myself.Because of you i feel beautiful & i am no longer ashamed of my "kinks".
But i am so afraid i won't be attracted to you & that i'll ruin everything.
Your beautiful,& i hope to god i will be able to see that in person.
Hate Some Family
I hate that my brothers family is so damn phoney! They act like they are God's gift to humanity. I wish they would move back to where they came from!!!