I'm in love with my best friend and there is no else to it. It kills me everyday to be around her. There's nothing I can do.. except watch her love other people.
my best friend in the world
my best friend in the world
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
i love him
im in love with him
i cant help it
he is the best friend ive ever had and the best thing thats ever happened to me
without him i dont know what i what do
if i died
i would kill myself
i need him
it scares me how much i love him!
i need to tell him
and i will
at the formal :)
I am scared
I am scared that I am going to go for something I shouldn't. Should I just leave our friendship alone... or should I go for more. I want more. I've liked him for so long, and I know that he has liked me as well. Why is he waiting? Why is he so scared of it? Why am I so scared of it? We have always been this way. I've known him for so long. He has dated my best friend... I liked him the whole time they were together. It kills me to think that he'll never love me the way he loved her, when I know I love him and would do anything for him. Maybe I think he'll never love me because I feel I am not good enough for him. He is so smart, sweet, kind, and strong... I wish it would work out. I hate that there is this stupid age difference between us. Maybe if I was in college too it wouldn't be a problem. I hate waiting... but I'll do it anyway. I want to be with him. I really hope my heart doesn't get broken.
The rest of the world is about 1/10 of me...
They think about 10 times slower. Move about 10 times slower. I really think that most people are barely conscious. Maybe I am the next step in evolution, I dunno. I just know it is really frustrating to hold my composure when faced with sloth/stupidity/indecision (I do not really know what is holding everyone else back.) Does anyone else feel like this?
I have sinned against God and my family. I have been unfaithful in body and soul. It is tearing me apart. I ask for Gods forgiveness. It is helping. I want to be a better person but know that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins. That is perfect grace from the lord above. I will do my best to forgive myself and put my trust in the Lord Jesus Christ that he has already paid for all of our sins.
All I've ever wanted was a friend. All I ever wanted was to be liked. I want boys to think I'm pretty and want to date me. I want a boyfriend who has a job, money, and a car. I want a real family. I want to be a normal person. I want people to like me. I don't want people to judge me. I'm sick of wearing my heart on my sleeve. I'm sick of getting my heart broken. I'm sick of being uncapable of pushing people away. I'm sick of trusting people so easily. I'm sick of my addictions. I'm sick of the abuse. I'm afraid the abuse I have recieved my entire life has become normal for me. I'm afraid it's comfort. I'm afraid I'll fail at life the same way my brother did. I'm afraid that since my dad has never been around that we'll never build a relationship. I'm afraid
I'll never find anyone who understands or excepts me. I'm afraid I will grow up to be fat, lazy, ugly, and a failure. I'm afraid I'll be nothing. I'm afraid society will never except me. I'm afraid to walk down the streets alone. I'm afraid I'll get raped. I'm afraid of men. I'm afraid of cars. I'm afraid of driving. I'm afraid of the future. I need a friend. I have no friends. I'm afraid I'm going to die alone... My mental disorder is getting the best of me....I can't take it anymore.
im in love with a much younger guy, i left my older boyfriend to be with this man... im 31 and my ex is 39, the guy i left him for is 20!! wow if he only knew what i left him for....
i feel stupid
because i hope too much and though i always put on a cynical pessimistic front really i put my hope too much on things than probably wont work out. i really want this guy to like me, a lot, and i think he does, but i'm scared because i'm so excited. i shouldnt be excited, right? it should just be whatever. i dont want to get hurt again. not ever. i just HOPE (theres that word again) that he'll make the last time not as bad.....
i'm stupid aren't i?
The love of my life
I have finally met the Love of my life. Since i have told her, she is avoiding me. This other guy also likes her, and apparently is REALLY into her. I want to have a relationship with her, but i'm just not sure what to do at this point. I hope God will show me the way and everything i do will be according to his will.
losing the girl
I just got back from my first date and it was great. I wasnt nervous more excited than anything. We both had a great time and loved each other company. We held hands and acted like a couple pretty much. I have been looking forward to this date and im so happy it turned out this way. I am going to see her the next day and cant wait. Theres no more being nervous im so anxious and cant wait to see her again. This is the happiest moment of my life.
i hate my ex
because he made me wasted an entire year and countless amount of food and money on him...not to mention the emotional trauma that he put me through.. but most of all i hate myself for being too stupid to see that he's not good enough for me.
not who i seem
I am not who i seem. I act like i have a great job and im set. I act like i have lots of money. Im in dept and i still live with my parents. I have a few friends from work and 1 from highschool. Im to scared to go to college and to scared to ask for help.
still in love
I think im still in love with my boyfriend that I broke up with almost two years ago. When he calls me or IM's me i can't help but get butterflies in my stomach. Sometimes i think he might feel the same way but then I just laugh at myself..
My father-in-law is dying, but I resent that I will have to spend the holidays with my in-laws instead of my parents. I know given the circumstances it is the right thing to do, but I am still sad and resentful. My in-laws are very selfish people that never did a thing to support my husband emotionally or financially. The stories he tells me of his childhood make me sad, as do the endless ways I have seen them disrespect and devalue him over the years.
But mostly I am scared that I will get stuck with my MIL, who has been hurtful to me for the past 7 years. We moved cross-country and I am scared she will follow us after my FIL dies. Given the tenuous relationship we have and the previously distant relationship she had with my husband, it would be disastrous. I am worried the widow halo will blind him and I will end up paying for years.
He doesnt know me
I fell in love with a musician. I always go to see him in his concerts. Im truly crazy for him, he is stuck on my mind all day. But the thing is that he doesnt even know me. I only met him couple of times just to say hi and congratulations.. we only have crossed glances for some seconds but I swear for me it was like an eternity, I love him but I dont know if I should tell him or keep my secret. He must be pushing 40 and im already 19, i need some advice please. Thanks a lot
What would you do with Cancer?
This is a hypothetical question. If you were a year out from marriage and you found out you had some nasty cancer, how would you handle it?
Would you tell them the truth and ask them to endure the hardship?
Would you tell the truth and tell them that you are breaking up with them to spare them the pain?
Would you pretend to have cheated on them and break up, to spare them the pain?
Would you just disappear?
Would just become friends until your future was certain?
I don't have cancer that I know of, but I have several lumps that I am beginning to think might be. I just moved to this area so making a doctor's appointment has taken a few weeks. I want to have an idea of what I will do before I get the news either way, because I think this will be the only time I can think logically.
My Mother's Letter
This is a letter I wrote to my mom when I was 12. I never sent it though. I still read it from time to time and my eyes get wet from the horror you put me in.
Of course you thought I didn?t mean it when I said I wished you would die. But sometimes, I really meant it. Alone in my room I would think about how much easier my life would be without you. I would have less bruises, I would get to eat right, I would get to eat NORMALLY. I would not have to eat lettuce-pancakes or vanilla extract chicken, or rice with milk. I would not have to take a shower only once a week, because you didn?t like the noise of water running. You didn?t like anything, period. If I made a sandwich, you would wrench it out of my grasp and throw it in the garbage. You would knock food out of my hands even if you had not allowed me to eat anything that day. You would be scared of big fridges, and buy countless small ones, about 10 mattresses and furniture, only to throw them out because you didn?t like them anymore. You would bully me about my computer, and if I was on it 5 minutes more than you said on my schedule, you would try to break it. It cost 1,000 dollars, and I cried. I would run
home from school because I was ashamed from my teeny house my dad could afford with your spendings of thousands of dollars on stuff you would throw away the next day.
We are moving for the 14th time.My parents are already living at the new place but i dtayed to finish school.i had to graduate early for them.and i hate them for it i wanted a senior year and i got nothing.i know they love me and they do stuff for me.But why me? why cant we be normal?why must i do everything?why do i feel like im holding this thing together? im so sick of this and then and yet i have no way out