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I don't think he loves me anymore
I haven't changed, but I think he's becoming disillusioned with who I really am. Our religion is different, and instead of bringing us closer it's kind of cutting us off. Every time we talk he's frustrated with me for no reason. I kind of want to cry.
A little highschool drama
There were a couple girls back in highschool who tormented my friend for the longest time. One day me and a couple of my friends drove over to one of the girl's houses and spray painted her truck and her parents car with obscenities. She was late for school the next day... I wonder why? O=)
I love Larry
I made up a character in my mind and his name i Larry. I imagine him exactly how I imagine my soul to be. I ended up falling in love with him but he isn't made up. I just wish I would find a real Larry before I go crazy.
Stolen money
When I was in College, I was working for a man that owned his own business. I stole money from him for a couple of years, mostly through working the books in my favor, but sometimes when I was short on money I would just take it from the til and blame it on someone else making a mistake. I don't think that he ever knew, but I'm sure that he suspected me. I wish that I could have given him some money to make up for it, but he closed his shop and I'm not sure if he's still in the town or not.
i suck at life
i spent 6 weeks of my summer taking an online english class. i was doing pretty well until half way through. today is the last day and i have two papers due. i'm not going to do them, which means i will fail the class. all my hard work and stress was for nothing. i am not going to tell anyone and pretend I got a decent grade. then i will retake the class in a year or so. if anyone knew, especially my boyfriend, they would be so upset and disappointed. whoops.
Feeling guilty, hope this helps
I was with my b/f at his work the other day, (I use to work there too, so he took off, and I was talking to an old co-worker). One of the guy's my b/f supervises came in (I've met him a couple times before.). He asked me how I was doing and stuff. Very friendly. The conversation was mostly about my b/f and me moving out of our house, so how flirtatious could I be right? It seemed borderline tho. My face felt flushed. My confession is, that ever since this encounter a couple of days ago, I've been thinking about him. Admittedly about us flirting, dating, being together, etc. I'm perfectly happy with my relationship (besides some minor things that I should just "get over"), but occasionally I think about what it would be like to date again. Who I would date if I did. What it would be like. I feel like it's so wrong to be thinking this tho. I've never cheated on my b/f, even emotionally. I wonder what my reaction would be if the opportunity presented itself. I want to say, 100%, that I would not do it, but sometimes I doubt that. It scares me.
Hopeless unrealistic love
I'm married to a man I've been with for eleven years. I barely knew you in school, only for a short time. Why do you come back into my life now, and why am I so utterly smitten with you? Why was the attraction, on all levels, so immediate and intense? I have such a huge crush on you that I don't even know if crush is the right word. Thank god you live very far away, or I'd have either made a fool of myself or cheated on my husband by now. And I do love him. Which makes this all the more strange. I just want to grab you and kiss you all over. I want to make you smile. I feel like I should be free to explore this but I'm not and I don't understand what I'm supposed to learn from any of this, and I hate it. Damn it.
I've had it.
I'm tired of being in debt- SICK of it. I've had it. I'm done. I'm getting out of debt- I don't care how.
scared
I have a music education degree, but I'm scared to teach music. I hate this feeling. I wish this feeling will go away.
drunk key
Once I drank a half a bottle of tequila and I was sitting outside of my dorm with my friends (1995). There was a BMW, brand new, drop top sitting outside of the dorm parked in the front row. Someone came by and said that someone in college shouldn't have the money for a brand new BMW and that someone should key it... I did. A lot... As with all drunk ideas, this seemed like a good one at the time. I woke up the next morning, surveyed the damage and I have been just sick about it ever since. This was just over 10 years ago! If I hadn't have been completely broke a worrying how I was going to pay for my next semester in college, I would have left the money to pay for the damage attached to the car. I couldn't. God, I feel awful.
i steal other
i steal other peoples clothes at the laundry mat.
I still like
I still like a girl who told me that we could only be friends. It's not a big problem b.c I put my feelings aside and hide them when I'm around her. The only thing is, when I look into her eyes, I'm not sure if she's happy or not. I wish that I could make her happy, but what can I do? I've already confessed to her and I was shot down.
i broke up
i broke up with my girlfriend thinking that we met too early. for a while i felt like she was the one. i still do but now that we're not together everytime we talk it seems that she is less interested in me everyday. i wish i could take all the bad stuff i did back but i know that if i was with her i'd be curious to see what else was out there. it seems that there is something else going on in her life and i can't figure out what it is. i just really hope that she's not getting over me because now that it seems like he is i fear i will lose her and will never find the comfort she gives me anywhere else. it seems that people try so hard to get what they can't have and once they get it they don't want it anymore. i wish i could understand why this is so. why can't i just be content with what i have and make the best of it instead of thinking of what my life would be if i had chosen another path. sometimes i feel so empty and hollow, it's hard to find something that truly makes me happy and something that i feel i can put my effort into. it seems that whenever i try to put effort and work into something it falls apart which makes me not want to start anything again. i'm so apprehensive about everything now.
i am
i am staying in a relationship with my girlfriend because i don't want any other guys to have her, even though i don't want to be with her that much
i'm the type
i'm the type of guy that will fart in the car and not say anything. i'm the type of guy that will also fart at a restruant; if its silent i'll say "damn..who farted" and blame it on whoever is sitting next to me
I hate my
I hate my life. I have no friends at school. I have lost contact with most of my old friends. I don't hang out with anybody. I only know a couple of people from high school and the rest of the people I know are from my work. I go through most days on campus without talking to anybody. I am so insecure and self-conscious. I always feel awkward and alone. I have never had a girlfriend. I complain a lot, but in reality my life is pretty easy.
I turned down
I turned down the first guy that ever asked me out 3 years ago. He was really sweet, but it seemed he was just desperate. (2 days later he was going out with my best friend) Now that I've had other boyfriends who were all jerks, I feel bad. I should have said yes.
I broke up
I broke up with my ex in early Feb because there was so much drama. She was a compulsive liar and there were alot of issues I couldn't take anymore. I was with her for 2 1/2 years and she has a daughter who is turning 4 this month. I loved them both so much and still do but it would never work. I think about them all the time and just yesterday my ex called for the first time. I wanna be with her again but at the same time I don't. So confused ....
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