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I am so vain that it is hard to get through the day knowing that I am not and will never be as beautiful as I am sure I should be. I am so shallow that I consider myself a superior being, or maybe inferior, either way, different from others in a way that I would describe as a higher state of conscious, mind, intelligence, and of course beauty in most cases. I am either the worst narcissist ever, or if every one is the same as me how can they stand the weight of not being beautiful, because even though I value my self called superior intelligence, I do not doubt that beauty is foremost above everything else in my world/mind/thoughts. Hard to describe, the way I desire beauty, I am not obsessed in a way that I can?t hide all day until I?m alone, but beauty? Truly beauty is the gift of life... And truly I deserve to be the most beautiful being alive.
Are you going to write back?
E, you are the only one that ever was for me. It's crazy, yes, for I haven't even tasted your kiss and do not know if your feel the same. But I love you. I do love you. I know you and your soul, in spite of not having spent much time together. You've ruined me for all other men. I will never be totally happy without you by my side. And that's impossible, isn't it? We cannot, can we? I will love you forever and keeping you in my daily thoughts, my love.
I hate my husband
My husband went to Iraq and came back a completely different person. He refused to seek counselling. It almost ruined our marriage. I tried to understand, but the way he treated me and our daughter caused me to despise him. He started to get better and things were great between us. Now I would like to have another child and he doesn't. I feel myself descending back into resentment for him. Marrying him was the biggest mistake I ever made.
I hate most girls I meet
I hate girls when they try to make other girls feel bad about themselves for eating this or ordering that...I am almost 30 and I weight 127 lbs, excercise regularly, eat pretty well (spluring every once in a while) and wear a size 2...and they are still some pathetic girls that make comments about my weight or what I am eating, none of these girls are as thin or healthy as me. I just want to tell them that are fat ugly cows because they deserve it!
I hate my best friends
I have to admit I hate my 2 best friends, they are immorale, dishonest, selfish, mean and down-right piggish in the way they live their lives. I go about every thing normal every day although when I talk to them or see them they make my skin crawl. I only hang out with them for social reasons but I think they are both pigs.
I don't think he loves me anymore
I haven't changed, but I think he's becoming disillusioned with who I really am. Our religion is different, and instead of bringing us closer it's kind of cutting us off. Every time we talk he's frustrated with me for no reason. I kind of want to cry.
A little highschool drama
There were a couple girls back in highschool who tormented my friend for the longest time. One day me and a couple of my friends drove over to one of the girl's houses and spray painted her truck and her parents car with obscenities. She was late for school the next day... I wonder why? O=)
I love Larry
I made up a character in my mind and his name i Larry. I imagine him exactly how I imagine my soul to be. I ended up falling in love with him but he isn't made up. I just wish I would find a real Larry before I go crazy.
When I was in College, I was working for a man that owned his own business. I stole money from him for a couple of years, mostly through working the books in my favor, but sometimes when I was short on money I would just take it from the til and blame it on someone else making a mistake. I don't think that he ever knew, but I'm sure that he suspected me. I wish that I could have given him some money to make up for it, but he closed his shop and I'm not sure if he's still in the town or not.
i suck at life
i spent 6 weeks of my summer taking an online english class. i was doing pretty well until half way through. today is the last day and i have two papers due. i'm not going to do them, which means i will fail the class. all my hard work and stress was for nothing. i am not going to tell anyone and pretend I got a decent grade. then i will retake the class in a year or so. if anyone knew, especially my boyfriend, they would be so upset and disappointed. whoops.
Feeling guilty, hope this helps
I was with my b/f at his work the other day, (I use to work there too, so he took off, and I was talking to an old co-worker). One of the guy's my b/f supervises came in (I've met him a couple times before.). He asked me how I was doing and stuff. Very friendly. The conversation was mostly about my b/f and me moving out of our house, so how flirtatious could I be right? It seemed borderline tho. My face felt flushed. My confession is, that ever since this encounter a couple of days ago, I've been thinking about him. Admittedly about us flirting, dating, being together, etc. I'm perfectly happy with my relationship (besides some minor things that I should just "get over"), but occasionally I think about what it would be like to date again. Who I would date if I did. What it would be like. I feel like it's so wrong to be thinking this tho. I've never cheated on my b/f, even emotionally. I wonder what my
reaction would be if the opportunity presented itself. I want to say, 100%, that I would not do it, but sometimes I doubt that. It scares me.
Hopeless unrealistic love
I'm married to a man I've been with for eleven years. I barely knew you in school, only for a short time. Why do you come back into my life now, and why am I so utterly smitten with you? Why was the attraction, on all levels, so immediate and intense? I have such a huge crush on you that I don't even know if crush is the right word. Thank god you live very far away, or I'd have either made a fool of myself or cheated on my husband by now. And I do love him. Which makes this all the more strange. I just want to grab you and kiss you all over. I want to make you smile. I feel like I should be free to explore this but I'm not and I don't understand what I'm supposed to learn from any of this, and I hate it. Damn it.
I've had it.
I'm tired of being in debt- SICK of it. I've had it. I'm done. I'm getting out of debt- I don't care how.
I have a music education degree, but I'm scared to teach music. I hate this feeling. I wish this feeling will go away.
Once I drank a half a bottle of tequila and I was sitting outside of my dorm with my friends (1995). There was a BMW, brand new, drop top sitting outside of the dorm parked in the front row. Someone came by and said that someone in college shouldn't have the money for a brand new BMW and that someone should key it...
I did. A lot...
As with all drunk ideas, this seemed like a good one at the time.
I woke up the next morning, surveyed the damage and I have been just sick about it ever since. This was just over 10 years ago!
If I hadn't have been completely broke a worrying how I was going to pay for my next semester in college, I would have left the money to pay for the damage attached to the car. I couldn't.
God, I feel awful.
i steal other
i steal other peoples clothes at the laundry mat.
I still like
I still like a girl who told me that we could only be friends. It's not a big problem b.c I put my feelings aside and hide them when I'm around her. The only thing is, when I look into her eyes, I'm not sure if she's happy or not. I wish that I could make her happy, but what can I do? I've already confessed to her and I was shot down.
i broke up
i broke up with my girlfriend thinking that we met too early. for a while i felt like she was the one. i still do but now that we're not together everytime we talk it seems that she is less interested in me everyday. i wish i could take all the bad stuff i did back but i know that if i was with her i'd be curious to see what else was out there. it seems that there is something else going on in her life and i can't figure out what it is. i just really hope that she's not getting over me because now that it seems like he is i fear i will lose her and will never find the comfort she gives me anywhere else. it seems that people try so hard to get what they can't have and once they get it they don't want it anymore. i wish i could understand why this is so. why can't i just be content with what i have and make the best of it instead of thinking of what my life would be if i had chosen another path. sometimes i feel so empty and hollow,
it's hard to find something that truly makes me happy and something that i feel i can put my effort into. it seems that whenever i try to put effort and work into something it falls apart which makes me not want to start anything again. i'm so apprehensive about everything now.