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getting on with it

dear lord, i have to say, some times its just really had being her on earth for no reason at all.

I love my dog

I have 3 dogs, 1 of which is a very large german shepherd, who is very protective of me, my family and our home. he has bitten a couple of family friends in the past due to feeling threatened with them in our back garden. i must emphasise this dog is unusually large and can appear ultra agggressive, but is a really fun loving dog and very gentle at heart. about a year ago now i was out walking him near our house across the nearby fields. he was off the lead and wondering along happily. when rounding a hedge row corner we came across a women walking her dog unexpectadly. my dog jumped up and bit her on the arm drawing blood. the women was flustered, i mananged to convince her that it was totally out of character for the dog to bite, it had never happened before and that she must have scared him. within 2 minutes she was convinced it was her fault and couldn't apoligise enough.


I haven't gone to any of my classes, and I only have two days left to withdraw. I've been lying to everyone and telling them I'm going. I've really been sleeping. I also don't know if I'll be able to withdraw, because I owe the school so much money. I kind of suck at life.

James Bond, Fireman

When I was a child - maybe I was about 9 or 10 years old, there was a fire round the back of my mates house. We were cheeky little kids, but we were a little bit in awe of real firemen, so we went up to them and asked for their autographs. When we handed the scrap of paper to the third fireman, I noticed a smirk on his face, so I examined the signatures. Apparently the fire had been put out by Mickey Mouse, James Bond and some other fictional character I no longer recall. At first I was a bit upset about being duped. I felt like getting my own back on them. But then I realised, I already had. After all, it was us that started the fire.

Strange Thoughts

I live in a fairly large apt complex, and I have noticed this 5-7 yr old boy roaming around. I keep having urges to scare this kid. Not hurt or anything so drastic, but maybe scare him. Why? i have a 2 year old myself that I would never harm or scare! I probably would never try to scare the kid in real life, but its weird that the thoughts run through my head!


I have lost 1000 dollers today and i think over 7000 dollers in total in the last 3 years in poker machines. I am kind of got addicted to it. Also now i withdraw cash from my credit card to quench my thirst for gambling.. i have lost my self esteem and i don't see my self as good person any more. There are such a lot of good things i could have done with that money for my family or friends or any one who needs money.. to make things worse i lie about all these small things to my family.. i really feel to get out of this and get back my life.. I am going to do all that possible to get things straight in my life and use the time/money to good things.

forgive me father cuz i have sinned

i have put drugs and alcohol before my children. am lazy in regards to making money to better my family. i do not keep in touch with my family like i should.


I hate you I hate you I hate you. I don't know why, or when it started. But i can't stand you. When you touch me, I can't even try to hide the dismay on my face. or when you talk to me, I can't help but to reply with something rude. i wish i could stop, i really really do, we used to have such great times, but i can't, and I wish that you could back away again. Or not just back away, leave. Which you will be, but it seems not soon enough. i can't try and be your friend again, because you are leaving, and it makes me sick. i think you are pathetic and wimpy. Your life is far better than anyone I know, and I hate you for thinking that it isn't. I JUST HATE. and I wish i didn't.


I feel like someone's ripped my heart from my chest. Hey, you still there? I just needed to say. Give you a heads up.At this point, that feeling of doom, that feeling of please don't say what I think your gonna say, centred in my chest, I stop breathing, for an eternity, waiting for you to tell me forever. I wait. I might be going away for a while. Okay now what do I do Can I be your friend? Can I see you again? Knowing in my heart all the time, You want my help, You want my advice, You want me because I am stranger, Because I'm objective, I am objective. I don't exist. Thing is, I am real. My whole world has been filled with rose and joy since I've met you, I cant sleep, I can't eat, I hang on your every word, you make me smile, you make me laugh, I want to make you better when your sad, you've made me come alive, you've reminded me i'm not cold, I'm not frozen up. You came to me and now your going. But I wont let fear take me, And I wont make the same mistakes again, You make me happy, Even if its just for today, Cause in the end, that's all we have. now. So now, I'm going to be fearless. Because I know you'll pass like the seasons. Better to regret what I did, rather than what I never tried.

how will he respond?

Every time I see my boyfriend I find my self falling more and more in love with him, problem is I cant tell him how I really feel about him because I'm scared of how he'll respond.....


There was this guy that i fell in love with. we got on so well, and we'd always have the best time together. he said that he felt atracted to me, but since we were heading off to different universities, we shouldn't start a relationship. We went to our separate universities, but we still maintained a close friendship. Although he would date other guys (usually right before i would visit him), i still was very much in love with him, and i did mention it a couple of times and everytime he would say that i meant a lot to him and that he was attracted to me but that we shouldn't do anything. eventually, it came to the point where i felt that i should cut contact with him, because i couldn't stop myself from liking him. i told him this and we planned a good-bye visit. the visit went well, we had dinner and watched some movies, but when it came for him to leave i was hoping for somewhat of an emotional response. i walked him to his bus, all the while hoping he'd say something, maybe beg me to reconsider. he didn't. he got on the bus without even giving me a hug and just left. It's been months since i last saw/ spoke to him. Now, i despise him for not making more of an effort to try and keep me in his life. he makes me feel worthless. sometimes, i imagine myself going to his house and stabbing him and then killing all of his uni mates bare handed for somehow changing him and taking him from me. the most tragic thing though is that i really miss him.

BT A New Man

Hello, my name is Brad. I want to be a good man. Anyway I want to say that it starts today at 01:23:45

play the game everybody play the game

men just suck and are full of lies. they toy with my emotions just so they can be with me. i say i too can play at this game. from now on my relations will be a calculated plan. After all "I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things. We can do the tango just for two. I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings, be your valentino just for you..." watch out boys you have met your match i can make you fall head over heals and not feel a damn thing myself just like you...you jerks have had it coming!

afraid of waking up...

sometimes (like now) i am afraid of going to sleep because i know i have to get up in the morning and start another day.


My mother is a huge burden. I love her so much, but I think my resentment towards her is getting out of control. I've been taking care of her my whole life, but since I started collage 6 years ago she's been like my child. I pay her bills, handle her problems. I can't deal with it much longer, but without me I know she'll kill herself. I wake up every morning clenching my teeth I'm so stressed out, I don't know how it will all end.


I hate my sisters. They are both still kids and one just had a baby, and the other one is pregnant. they are not even 20 yet. I have been trying to have a baby with my fiancee for almost a year now. I'm the oldest. They can't even take care of their own babies. I hate them. I have everything but a baby... Life is so unfair...

Best Friend

Even though everyone thinks our friendship is perfect, I secretly HATE my best friend. She's one of those trampy, "codependant" girls, who always run back to a guy even though they treated the girl like trash. She goes around calling herself "emo", even though everyone knows she's a poser. The only reason I haven't stopped being her friend is because I don't want to throw away the friendship we have had since 2nd grade.


I have a crush on this girl that is in my biology class. every day I look forward to class just to see her. It's sad but I can't seem to muster the courage to tell her how I feel about her. This is my senior year in high school and I have very little time to tell her before graduation. If that happens then I am afraid that I will never see her again and tell her my feelings.