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All my life ive made impulse buys of all kinds of animals: birds, rabbits, rats, axolots, turtles, mice, and most recently a dog. i guess i get comfort from taking care of them because i dont get along with people. but it seems the novelty always wears off and i end up abandoning them. once i left two mice in a tank without food for over a week and the bigger mouse had eaten the smaller one. i killed an axolotl simply because i was too lazy to change the water. ive let turtles go in a park pond, and abandoned a rat on a roof from a 2nd floor window. i did this knowing fully it probably wouldnt survive.
also when i was 15 and had a pet parrot, it wasnt acting the way i wanted it to so i got frustrated, put it in a box and shook it very hard. the parrot was injured. ive also hit rabbits in anger.
i got a puppy on impulse the other week and at first i was very caring and did my best to care for him. i spent over $500 in vet bills. but i found it harder and harder to control my temper when he whined, and i hit him twice. today i got in a cab and took him to a park, and left him there. hes only 9 weeks old. im scared of myself that i could do something like that almost robotically, without any emotion. the reason i didnt give him to a shelter is because i dont want people to know what an irresponsible animal abuser i am. i even have a plan to say he was stolen, and play the victim.
ive never hurt an animal for pleasure, but the times i abused my bird/rabbit/dog, it was definitely abuse because i was taking my anger out on them.
the scary thing is i also have a cat, ive never hurt him and hope i never will. i know people like me shouldnt have animals. im seeing a therapist but this is the one thing i could never, ever tell another human being in person.
i know people who read this are going to be disgusted. honestly i dont really care how you react because i disgust myself too and i just wanted to get this off my back anonymously.
Wish You Were Mine
I think about you every day. I love your sand-blonde hair, your blue eyes, your personality, your humor, your taste in music... you're simply perfect in every way possible. I'm madly in love with you. I wait for hours so I can talk to you online. I anxiously await your arrival at my door when you walk home from track. And when you leave, I love driving you home just so we can talk alone and together - even if it's only 3 blocks from my house. I think about you at work, at school, and every night before I fall asleep. I even dreamed that we made out... it was wonderful. It felt so real, and I wish it could have lasted a lifetime. I wish I could be with you, protect you, and keep you forever. But the problem is that I'm 4 years older than you. It kills me that I have to wait to even tell you how much I love you. The fact that I'm 19 and you're 15 is just... unreal to me. I don't feel 19, I don't look 19... I'm always told this.
So why can't it be? If you happen upon someone else, I don't know what I'd do. What if someone asks you to prom, and you accept? What if it goes further than that, and I can't do anything to protect you from that person, because in my heart I know that the I am the only person who feels like I can truly keep you safe. I know you feel something towards me as well, because every time we're together I sense that extremity in our friendship - that certain aroma of love. Perhaps one day we will be together.
Jaclyn, I love you and I wish you were mine.
love my husbands brother
I'm married and have a wonderful family but the truth is that I am in love with my husband's brother. I know it's wrong but scary part is that he said he loves me too........I cant be in love with both of them??
My parents are going to seperate.
I wanto shoot myself.
I am a lawyer. Almost 10 years ago I represented a client in a medical malpractice lawsuit against a large and powerful healthcare clinic.
However, I was being paid by the clinic to drain my client's assets with protracted litigation, furnish the clinic with recordings of all meetings and telephone conversations with my client and coordinate a dismissal of the case the day before the trial was to begin.
The guilt is almost overbearing but to seek forgiveness from him directly would be suicide for me and my career.
Will God forgive me anyway?
Screwed For Life ...
I have had a ruff childhood and now i am in my teens. I can't seem to ever get more than a couple hours of sleep a night because I wake up from night mare constently of my past.
I think everything i have been through has screwed me for life. I can't keep a relationship and I only trust one person in this world.
Do you know any ways to get HORRIBLE, i mean HORRIBLE memroies out of your head so you can get close enough to give your best friend a hug? I can't even do that... i hate it but i am so scared of getting hurt again ...
I still wonder...
I'm engaged and completely in love with the person I'm going to marry. But a long time ago while I was still in this current relationship, there was another man I was very interested in. And he was definitely interested in me. I was very tempted to cheat, but didn't. I was really thinking about leaving my current fiance for this other man, but didn't. Sometimes I wonder if I should have. They are both really great guys, but I guess I'll always wonder if it could have been better with the other one. I'm getting married soon, so I guess I'll never know.
my wife sucks
I hate my wife
she does not care about me at all
I only stay because of my dogs
From twelve to fifteen
I fell in love for the first time when I was twelve years old. Seems strange, right? I always believed in the philosophy that you can fall in love at any age.
We were in gym together, he was fourteen but in eighth grade. I liked him and he thought I did, but we never talked about it. I am in band, and for the eighth grade graduation we had to play for the graduates. That graduation night, I realized there was someone that I loved more than him, someone that made me feel amazing inside and that I would do anything to be with.
We had fun together that year; we were the 'little brother and sister' of the gym group and talked a lot. I think he even liked me at a point.
For eighth grade I wasn't able to keep in contact with either of them. Freshman year, they were sophomores, I managed to talk to them more, and the younger brother knew that I liked him. We got closer from our talks every day.
Come sophomore year, I decided to get off my lazy butt and ask him how he felt about me. Five minutes before I was going to walk up to him, my friend told me that he asked the year before and that he didn't like me that way.
Of course, I was upset. I had fallen in love with his brother before, but this was a different kind of love. More genuine. I'm currently working on getting over him, but I still find myself craving the exact words he said, what he looked like when he said it, and so much more. It's things like these that make you feel like you're not good enough.
But there was always the possibility that my friend was lying, because a friend of his likes me and he's been trying to set me up with him.
It's really hard on me and I don't like to talk about it.
'You've really improved'.
I was a horrible student in seventh and eighth grade. I got horrible grades and dressed lazily and just didn't care about anything.
Come freshman year of high school, I tried harder, got Bs and one or two Cs. Now I am a sophomore in high school, getting As and Bs.
My parents are telling me how proud they are of my and that I've really improved from my old self.
It hurts to think that maybe they didn't like me two years ago, and every time they told me they loved me they might have been lying.
She would hate me.
For the longest time I've been trying to get my best friend in the world together with somebody that she really likes, and in the amount of time I've been getting to know him, I think I like him more than she does.
does he love me anymore?
Iv been with my bf for nearly a year now, he says he's in love with me and that Im the only girl for him.But hes just so negative, he always makes comments that were not going to be together in the future and makes me feel really bad about myself sometimes. I dont think he finds me attractive anymore either cause of some of the things he says to me. I tottaly in love with him and i think about if I was'nt with him and it breaks my heart. Just dont know wat to do...
Im mixed up
I'm all mixed up inside. I dont know why i have such a problem with this. It's guys. I cant get close to them and i cant keep any of them. Why do i have such a problem opening up to them?
Its been a whole month and I miss him eventhough I dumped him. There were guys before him but I never missed them like this. This one said all the things I NEEDED to hear. I knew I was broken when I walked into this relationship and he said "maybe it takes someone like me to love you". That was the most perfect line anyone ever said to me and because of that damn line, now I'm stuck and just can't seem to move on. It sucks because I need to move on, I cannot let a man disrupt my concentration on the most important thing in my life: My career. I just want all the missing and the pain to stop because I made this choice, I just want the whole emotional whirlwind to just stop!
I had a job interview, and I didn't really give it my best shot. I'm under a lot of pressure right now, or at least I was when I went on that interview, and the pressure made me think that I didn't want the job. But now that I realize I do want the job, I know I sabotaged my chances. It's not that I gave a bad interview, I just know I didn't give a good one, and I could have. My job field is very competative, and this would have been a great opportunity for me. Now that I didn't distinguish myself, I'm upset, but I have no one to talk to about it. No one would really understand. I just got scared and thought it would be better if I didn't get the job. Now I don't know what to think or feel.
Will anyone read this and understand? I can't explain to anyone just what I'm feeling.
I am incredibly unhappy with myself and am in my first year of college. I have always been a little depressed, but my friends here don't know how to watch out for me and I don't know how to tell them. So now I am lonely with no one to help protect me from myself.
I just ate sooooooo much. I was doing really well and i had to muck it up! Is tomorrow a newday?
I can't stand being nice to some people, sometimes I just want to rip into them for something they have done. But I can't...if I ever want to be elected I need to be nice...no matter how horrible the person