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skinny
i look up pictures of people online who are skinny. I want to be them. i recite the mantras that are on the pictures in my head over and over again. I keep a journal on how much i eat and how much i work out. each day i feel like its too much. even when i feel like fainting i still try not to eat. You indulge, you buldge.
Friends mother.
Many years back one day in my drunken state made an abusive call to my friends mother. I pretend to not acknowledge it but, from within I know what I did was wrong, and she knows it was me. It has hurt me all this while and I know it would keep hurting me for the rest of my life, I 've lost a friend in doing so and every time I run into her I feel miserable and scared that she might just catch me and ask me why I did what I did. Don't know why but, sure 'm shamed of this act of mine and hate myself everyday more for the same reason...
Somebody lost his job...
I did something in the past out of just mere curiosity and maybe for my stupid reasons and actually ended up having this person lose his job. I don't have the courage to go and seak his forgivness and I think I don't deserve it either. He did not do any harm to me nor did he hurt me in anyway, when I realised my stupidity it was too late. I chickened out for the first time in my life and was scared to comeout in open. I 've lived with this for almost about 8 years now but the burden is too much to bear. I seak his forgiveness. I hope he would and would have moved on in life. I hope he gets all that he had then and now dreams of in his life... Please forgive me I didn't realise my action would cost you your job.
old flame
i used to think we might be together. then she got married. today i learned she is now divorced. we have started talking again and are meeting next week. i can't stop thinking about her. my current 'girlfriend' is several hours away - it is not going anywhere. i haven't been this wrapped up about a girl in years. trying to play it cool, but i really want her BAD
horrible daughter
I am a 28 your old who just found out from her mom's boyfriend that she was in the E.R. for severe vertigo. Your thinking so what right. Well let me say this. I have lived in another state from my mom for 6 years. In the six years my mom has been through emotional crap and family drama than we had when i lived there. We have a had 2 sudden and unexpected deathers in our family. My mom and grandfather were deeply upset about these. And in some depression and guilt and need me, the support of me. We are all we have. Where was I , here thousands of miles away, across the country. I am never home when she needs me . Yes, I fly home when the happens but it is not the same. I can only stay for a while and then need to come back to my family. I feel like I should be there, move back home . She needs me, but then I always talk myself out of it. She has been there for me always. Through it all. I mean some crazy stuff, I have put my mom through hell. And here I set. Just go off the phone and all I can say is Thanks for letting me know. I can't do anything for her, can't stop by, can't be there for her like she is always there for me. I feel horrible. At that moment when I picked up the phone, I see it is her number and it's not her calling, and you hear I have something I need to tell you. My heart stopped. I thought oh my god this is it. Something has happend to my one and only parent. What am I going to do. It was not as bad as my gut reaction but still . Am i the worst daughter? At this moment I would say yes.
They say marriage is hard work . . . .
I think this is a lie people in bad marriages tell themselves to feel better about marrying the wrong person. My marriage is no work at all. School is work. Jobs are work. Family is often work. Marriage is fun. Is everyone else just going along with this myth, or are there really that many bad matches? Or have we accidentally stumbled onto the secret - by waiting to marry until we had enough money to live on, by not having kids? Or is he really doing all the work for over a decade, and I am just taking advantage?
Keeping things to myself
You know, when you know someone likes you...you start to think that they're not bad and then bam! after a while all you can think about is whether he's checking out your butt when you're bending or whether he's smelling your hair when your back is facing him. Well, there's this guy (who used to be prettyyy fat but then went on an excessive weight loss drive and lost a lot but he still isn't exactly attractive.) call him M. He started liking me in 2005 when we just talked generally and he didn't have many friends. Then we became sort of good friends the next year when we had a lot of classes together and he told me about the people he liked. I didn't EVER think about him. Not once in a mushy way. And then at the end of 2006 he started flirting with me. Of course, I was confused and just ignored him. (Just FYI- I'm not exactly thin and pretty in a way that hits your face. I'm 5 or 7 kilos overweight and I wear spectacles. ) So yeah. Then in the middle of last year he got really close to me. I was also sort of falling for him pretending I wasn't. Now I don't know why he won't just get it out and over with so I'm always waiting for him to make it obvious, when I know that's not the point. What should I do? Continue ignoring him and his subtle (REALLY subtle) moves or declare that I like him. I'm scared that if I do...I might just not like him.
Identity
Today I found out who I really am. I cried for hours.. It can be really tough realizing ones true identity, considering it has lurked in a corner of my mind for many many years. I don't know how to handle things from here, I hope everything will be okay..
Oops a little.
I've been dating multiple girls for a few months now. About 4 different girls. They're all friends but they are totally unaware of what's going on. I feel a little bad, but I don't want to break it off with any for fear of all of them hating me.
smoking
i started smoking when i 15 because i thought it made me look cool. the i.q. tests tell me i'm a genius. i have acquired much wisdom in love, life and philosophy. i am now 22 and i still think i do it because of the same reasons.
Eating The Forbidden
I just found out today that this lasagna i have been eating and purchasing for over a year has pork in it now that is big deal for me as a muslim who has never had pork before except one time before my mistake but i spit it out, now im okey im over it and not buying that brand again but i have a friend who also happens to be muslim and has some really messed up things to say which could border on being a muslim fanatic even though he doesn't pray, the funny thing is that i FED HIM THAT PORK INFESTED LASAGNIA TWICE !! and ofcourrrrrrrrse he will never know
licking girl
There is this girl of 12 years of age that's really nice looking(looks like dakota fanning) but quite creepy. She is a licking maniac and licks almost every object she gets her hands on. It would not be as weird until I picked up a pen she just used. I was just getting ready to write some notes, thinking of what to write with the pen near my nose. The end of the pen felt wet and it smelled, the smell was florally and honey-like, but really smelly. I last saw her on the phone and while she was talking, she would occasionally lick the receiver. I smelled the receiver and sure enough it had the same smell. I did a search about smelly grime and found that some people have smelly tongues. I don't know how to approach her about that but I think I will have to someday. The smell is tolerable and very sweet though but stale at the same time.
Unrequited love
I have become so obsessed with someone who obviously doesn't feel the same way. I have tried to tell my myself that I should just get over it but I can't. This man has become the only thing I ever think about and it is driving me insane but I can't help it. I see him all the time and every conversation we have only makes me more in love. I don't know what to do.
Im Sorry
She was so nice to me. She loved me for who i was. She was great looking. She was perfect. She Loved me. I hated her. I despised her. I insulted her. I made her feel bad. I made her cry.I never answered her pleas or cries. I dont know why. Now that she is gone, i miss her more than anything in the world. No other girl will ever be as good as her. Now, i dont accept any girl that shows any attraction towards me. I miss her so much sometimes, but she wont answer my calls, and i dont know were she lives. All i want is to see her again.
Love my friends girlfriend
I am in love with my best friends girlfriend. We are close and I look forward to seeing her and chatting with her every night.
Van Morrison
I'm a musician for pay. There are some songs which the crowd loves but I loathe. Whenever I have to play Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" in an attempt to win back their favor after losing their attention during a ryan adams song, I want to kill them. They are not worth life.
sorry
your cat didn't accidentally get out of the house one day, i let it out...
i eat til it hurts
i eat and eat and eat..until i cant eat anymore. til my stomach hurts. and when it stops hurting, i continue to eat. i always think about food and i want it all the time. when i am sad, i eat. when i am happy...another excuse to eat. I am not obese by any means, so no one would ever know...I joke sometimes about always being hungry...but no one really knows. I just cant seem to help myself from eating. I fantasy about eating, my day revolves around it. i am eating right now. i eat out of boredom. i eat for any reason I can think of. I clean my plate every time and want more.
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