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Totally detatched of love
I'm so consumed with myself and my new business that I have time for no one. It worries me that I don't care all that much about it either. My second divorce was final last year, and I can't date because I can't concentrate on another being for very long. I've always been self-centered and I fear I won't even try love again.
I used to be caring and attentive and a good lover. Now I feel like a robot sometimes. My kicks come from squashing my business competition.
were friends but...
i loved you, i do love you, just because im in a relationship doesnt mean i dont still feel the same way about you. you'll always be the first peron i fell for and the only person id do anything for. you may have a low opinion of your self but i cant see one imperfection =]. i love you and i always have you mean more to me than anything in the WORLD.
I really did want to commit suicide
The majority of my life I suffered from Clinical Depression because I was ignored as a child. When I was 10 I wrote a paper on how I wanted to kill myself but I got my journal mixed up with my school journal. My teacher talked to my parents who in turn asked me if I really wanted to commit suicide. I said no because I was ashamed and immediately they forgot about it and I never got treatment. I really did want to commit suicide and the only person who knows is my sister because she kept asking me about it.
abnormal test results
No woman wants to hear the word 'abnormal' from her gyno. It's dreadful & scary. Im scared. After years of careless fun, I finally might've not dodged the bullet. Im so scared that I might have cancer & never be able to bear children.
i hate myself right now. just started even clawing at my arm. had to stop since i nearly drew blood out of the big vain that goes down my arm
I'm Stuck in the Middle
I thought i loved my boyfriend until i met someone else
piss in orange
me an my sister once had an argument we was not speaking for a while. She had a pint a fresh orange in the fridge so i drank a glass then i pissed in the bottle of fresh orange filled it to the top an shook it, next thing my dad comes home an gets the bottle out the fridge and drank the lot..
I am a 34 year old housewife with two daughters. My husband and I are both from strict backgrounds and have been married for 14 years. I have made friends with a neighbor and have started smoking at her house during the day. Yesterday afternoon I had a glass of wine with her. If my husband finds out I don't know what he will do.
Fear and arrogance
Several times a day I catch myself distancing me from others through either a sarcastic remark or a condescending look, etc. I wonder why this is.
i need you to know this
I love you so much. I've done alot of bad things the last couple of months, but i want to make everything better.. i havent exactly told you about everything that i've done because im afraid you will leave me if you find out.. Every single day it eats me up inside knowing that you dont know, i sometimes think that your better off without me, and at times it's probably true.. your the most beautiful girl i've ever met, inside and out.. and i honestly love you with all my heart..
i don't know
i really like him, but the only reason i don't want to like him is because he's not intelligent.
I fell in love with someone from Alabama
This summer I fell in love. I was still with my boyfriend. I didn't want anything to happen between us because I was still with my boyfriend. So that's a lie. I was terrified he didn't like me. I knew he loved me as a friend, but did he want me as more than a friend? Since I got back I have been getting drunk and making huge mistakes. I broke up with my boyfriend and promptly made even more mistakes. We just got back together. I want the one boy I can't have. Now he lives to far away. Why didn't I just go for it when I had the chance?
I think I talked about one of my best friends on the bus with two of my ex-best friends when I didn't know that HER [my current best friend] was on the bus.
and now he's going to tell her everything I said.
now I'm going to get in trouble.
Top this one...
When I was 17 I had a relationship with a 70 year old.
On Monday, in the year 2007, my dog, Puddles, died. Puddles died from ingesting a chew toy I bought him from a store
Here is an account of how things happened...
When I brought the toy home for Puddles I was so excited. At last a toy for Puddles that he could chew on. Puddles was still a puppy, and although he had a number of stuffed friends he did not yet have a chew toy. This was going to be a special experience for Puddles.
As I expected Puddles was delighted with his new toy and very soon began chewing on it whenever he had the opportunity.
Unfortunately over time Puddles relentless chewing began to wear down the toy and I noticed bits of plastic in his stool, however I didn?t think much of it at the time and Puddles kept gnawing away.
A curious thing happened one day, I was watching Puddles chewing away at his toy when gradually, ever so slowly he began to chew less enthusiastically, eventually stopping altogether and setting the toy down. He stared at his toy for a long time then got up carefully backing away as if he were trying to escape the toy, struggling against some inexorable force which wouldn?t let him go. He made it as far as the other room, but within 15 minutes he was back at it, chewing away feverishly.
Puddles eventually chewed the toy down so far that he was able to partially swallow it, a discovery I made after responding to his tortured screaming. I ran into the room to find Puddles writhing on his side, laying in a spreading pool of bloody vomit. His mouth was levered open and I could clearly see the chew toy lodged in the back of his throat, panicking I forced my hand into his mouth and extracted the worn toy. Puddles recovered with no lasting problems, and seemed to be a bright and happy little dog within a few days, but as time went on Puddles seemed to lapse into a depression. He would mope through the days and was no longer full of bustling puppy energy. I became more and more concerned with Puddles behavior and consequently took to following him around the house in an effort to determine the source of his malady. I soon noticed that Puddles would return over and over to the same spot in the house. The place where I used to store his chew toy. He missed his toy, I could hardly believe it
considering the awful hell he had gone through, but it was undeniable. I presented him different a brand of chew toy. One I thought would be more suitable for a dog with his powerful jaws, but he had fixated on his first toy. He would play with the new ones in a half hearted fashion but inevitably he would lose interest in them and mope about until I relented and returned his precious toy to him. It was like a miracle, Puddles was a new dog, he was happy and full of energy. You could find him at any time chewing away at his toy as happy as a pig in slop, this time I promised myself everything would be fine as long as I made sure to replace his toy before it was too worn out. Over the course of a few months Puddles chewed his way through that toy over and over again, I eventually began to notice that Puddles was no longer having as many or as large a bowel movement as was usual for him. I also noticed that his gums were constantly bleeding and he seemed to be getting sick. I attempted to take the chew toy
away from him but this only made things worse. He was addicted to this toy, no matter how damaging it was to him he seemed unable to get on without it. Puddles never recovered from his downward spiral. On the day I found him dead his chew toy was firmly clamped in his jaws. Horribly he had bled to death from the inside out. Twin streams of blood issued forth from his mouth and anus. When the vet preformed the autopsy he was shocked at the state of Puddles intestinal tract. It was pitted and necrotic, every square inch was shredded, he had virtually rotted from the inside out.
Please, if your dog is chewing on a toy that is hurting him don?t make the same mistake I made. Take the toy from him and don?t give in to his sadness. I wish everyday that Puddles was still alive, I gave the toy to him just wanting him to have fun and enjoy himself, I had never planned for him to play with it to the exclusion of all else. But ultimately his death is on my hands for not being firm, puppies don?t know better.
Perhaps if I had started Puddles off playing with chew toys early or multiple toys he would have known that there was no reason to be so crazy for his first. Please, don?t let this happen to you.
I broke up with my old boyfriend a long time ago to go out with someone that ended up tearing me apart. I Miss the one I left. I sent him a song that reminds me of him and he and I are still really good friends. But I moved to the east coast and I miss him so much. He is moving to Ireland within 3 years and I just want to be with him.. I dont have the guts to tell him either....
All my life ive made impulse buys of all kinds of animals: birds, rabbits, rats, axolots, turtles, mice, and most recently a dog. i guess i get comfort from taking care of them because i dont get along with people. but it seems the novelty always wears off and i end up abandoning them. once i left two mice in a tank without food for over a week and the bigger mouse had eaten the smaller one. i killed an axolotl simply because i was too lazy to change the water. ive let turtles go in a park pond, and abandoned a rat on a roof from a 2nd floor window. i did this knowing fully it probably wouldnt survive.
also when i was 15 and had a pet parrot, it wasnt acting the way i wanted it to so i got frustrated, put it in a box and shook it very hard. the parrot was injured. ive also hit rabbits in anger.
i got a puppy on impulse the other week and at first i was very caring and did my best to care for him. i spent over $500 in vet bills. but i found it harder and harder to control my temper when he whined, and i hit him twice. today i got in a cab and took him to a park, and left him there. hes only 9 weeks old. im scared of myself that i could do something like that almost robotically, without any emotion. the reason i didnt give him to a shelter is because i dont want people to know what an irresponsible animal abuser i am. i even have a plan to say he was stolen, and play the victim.
ive never hurt an animal for pleasure, but the times i abused my bird/rabbit/dog, it was definitely abuse because i was taking my anger out on them.
the scary thing is i also have a cat, ive never hurt him and hope i never will. i know people like me shouldnt have animals. im seeing a therapist but this is the one thing i could never, ever tell another human being in person.
i know people who read this are going to be disgusted. honestly i dont really care how you react because i disgust myself too and i just wanted to get this off my back anonymously.
Wish You Were Mine
I think about you every day. I love your sand-blonde hair, your blue eyes, your personality, your humor, your taste in music... you're simply perfect in every way possible. I'm madly in love with you. I wait for hours so I can talk to you online. I anxiously await your arrival at my door when you walk home from track. And when you leave, I love driving you home just so we can talk alone and together - even if it's only 3 blocks from my house. I think about you at work, at school, and every night before I fall asleep. I even dreamed that we made out... it was wonderful. It felt so real, and I wish it could have lasted a lifetime. I wish I could be with you, protect you, and keep you forever. But the problem is that I'm 4 years older than you. It kills me that I have to wait to even tell you how much I love you. The fact that I'm 19 and you're 15 is just... unreal to me. I don't feel 19, I don't look 19... I'm always told this.
So why can't it be? If you happen upon someone else, I don't know what I'd do. What if someone asks you to prom, and you accept? What if it goes further than that, and I can't do anything to protect you from that person, because in my heart I know that the I am the only person who feels like I can truly keep you safe. I know you feel something towards me as well, because every time we're together I sense that extremity in our friendship - that certain aroma of love. Perhaps one day we will be together.
Jaclyn, I love you and I wish you were mine.