My dad had a surgery done on his tongue, and I stole his pain medication. I've been using them almost every night because they make me fall asleep fast, and I don't have nightmares.
lust or love
i think i might be in love with my friend and he loves me. i live with my boyfriend he would give me the world lust or love?
I am very content in my relationship. My girlfriend reminds me of my grandmother, who was the sweetest woman alive. I think I would be happy to marry her and have a small yappy dog named Yips and a cranky orange cat named Lex.
Gave up on God
I've been going through a crazy ordeal in my life where, at one time I was minding my own business. Then I got into the trucking industry. As a woman, I was the target of these men harrassing me, constantly and stalking me. Spreading lies about me, ruining my reputation. I've always been a Christian, trying to do the right thing, trying to live my life right. And all of a sudden. I felt God abandoned me to these hateful men and others who are being men and evil toward me. My friends, who I found out were never really my friends turned against me. How can people you've known most of your life, suddenly listen to gossip about you and turn on you. The elders in the congregation never offered help and knew about the situation, but they never was there to help me anyway. I was so down spiritually at different times in my life. Not coming to the meetings, did I ever get a phone call of encouragement. No one ever cared and no one
does now. So I see God has never been there for
me and he's abandoned me now. Why should I give allegence to someone who does not protect me from what I'm going through, but these evil people keep living their lives and thriving and all I get is people going out of their way to be hurtful to me. I do have a feeling of trying to pick up the Bible, but what's the use, he doesn't hear me, he's abondoned me and he's left me on my own. I'm all alone and I've never been totally alone. Everyone has abandoned me and they think I'm a joke and it's so funny to see me alone. I'll get my own vengence one day, screw everyone and God too.
this guy hits me
this guy in my school always slaps me in the face and runs away. he doesnt slap all that hard, but nobody sticks up for me. i try to slap him back but he runs away before i know what happened. today, he slapped my butt. when the teacher leaves the room, he comes over to me and starts massaging me and rubbing my legs, so i try to kick him. He even tried to kiss me one time. he's annoying, and i'm only thirteen! i'm afraid to tell a teacher.
What I really want...
I don't want him to know that secretly I want a baby. I am terrified of what he will think and I sometimes hope that I "accidentally" get pregnant. It is making me kinda depressed and he is noticing it.
What a waste of my time. I never want you to ever waste another minute of my life ever again. All you ever do is tear me down as a person, tell me about all the wild things you've been doing (when I couldn't care less!) and then call me your friend. I don't know why I ever liked you. I don't know why I ever dated you. I don't know why I decided to help you with this project so you could go ask someone else and give them my portion of the check. You're a jerk.
have always liked the younger, i am 27 and he is 22, but i feel so guilty everytime we are together and sometimes i wished i wasn't corrupting him the way i am. But i am very attracted to him and he makes me laugh and he is rather a keen "student" which i appreciate.
Fiance 'needs time'
After 3 years of dating, she brings up that everything I complain about really bothers her... that I'm still in school, currently have no job, have unrealistic goals... etc. (Except that I am avidly looking for employment, have LOTS of goals, but they cannot be accomplished until I have my 4 year degree, oh, and I just 4.0'd a year of classes. She says she needs time, but to wait for her. I've been trying to talk it out with her for a month over why she feels this way... and two months ago was content and happy and estatic over planning our wedding. Leave me or don't... just don't leave me sitting here.
I've never had a friendship mean more to me. I've always been afraid to express emotion. I'm scared to death of losing you. I don't like her in anyway, but for you, I'll go through anything. I wish you could open your eyes and see that. Patience is a virtue, and I curse the boy that first told me that. I'll be here forever, unless you tell me different. Can we just talk? I love you.
i love him
i'm in love with him. he knows. and even though he feels the same, he's still with her. does that make sense to anyone else??? cuz it sure as hell doesn't make sense to me!
I'll Bear the Punishment
I always feel terrible. I love you, but I feel like if we were together, you would be unhappy. You're so much better than me... You deserve far better than I can give. That doesn't stop me from loving you. I feel self absorbed for hating myself. Is that bad? You're perfect. So perfect. I want so badly to be yours forever. To live with you and to raise your children to be just as magnificent as you. To die happily in your arms after a full life; not alone, empty and tired of trying. But any child of mine would be the next strain of a virus. The world would be a better place without any trace of my existence. I don't want to see you go. If I feel this despair for the rest of my life, if I'm never happy, it would be worth it if you never saw me again and were happy. I can't waste your life any longer. Live it and be free, I can suffer enough for the both of us.
I don't know if I ever loved you
I don't know if I ever loved you. I loved you only because you loved me. I thought you meant security and humor, for the rest of my life, but then you left, slowly, and left me to do all of the compromising. But I still never loved you, not really. I grieved, but I knew I didn't love you. My grief was of what I'd given you, trying to make myself into a person that could be with you forever. But I knew I would rather be by myself than be with you. I knew that there was someone better, even though we haven't met yet. I knew that I'd rather be alone, or experiment than be with you. I knew that I was wasting my time by giving you everything. I knew that you were self righteously making me give up myself to be with you, and I let you, because I wanted to be able to give you everything. At least I know that you weren't worth it. There was nothing else I could have possibly given you.
whats wrong with me....
it started out as a little white lie... it just a little white lie, meant to brush someone's rude comments off.... I dont know how it happened but its become a monster, I'm so deep in this lie I cant get out. The worst part is I'm starting to believe it, I'm losing my mind because I cant tell the difference anymore. My life is about too fall a part because of I cant seperate whats real & whats not.... I'm on the verge of losing my job & my mate, both are the best things that have ever happened to me... I just want to all to end... I dont want to lie, I dont want to feel like this, i want to know who & what I am..... I just want to at peace to be stable, to be... Normal....
I'm dreaming of people I don't know, but them come to know
Does this happen to anyone else? Has anyone besides myself ever had a dream that included people you don't know in your real life, and then after some time passes you meet them or pass them as you walk by? Or how about events or images? And then something happens or you see the image you couldn't get out of your head for a long time, not knowing why? This is happening more often than when I was a child. Even then I didn't know what to do. So, has this ever happened to anyone else or does anyone know what this is called? Thanks.
Please someone help!
Its hard as heck to make good grades and impress people with my school capabilities..
im logiclly smart but i get distracted very very very easily i didn't do homework...
i know i can do it but i dont . i have adhd i think.
I have a great life great freinds but the things that i need like grades just dont tend to like me.
i try so hard to be a teachers pet but...i disrupt class too much 4 them to like me. The teachers grade on if you did your work and not so much on if you actually know it...
I just wanna leave that school but my mom says my grades arent good enouph. My gpa usually ranges from 1.5 to 2.2. I can easily make cs and up but in one class its damn near impossible 4 me... Im going to summerschool 4 sure but its hard. and i am already lazy.
Being a fake
found a good looking person pictures online, faked being them, found love, hope he doesn't find out i'm not really the guy of his dreams and i'm actually a she.
been doing this for almost 3 years...its not that i want to be a man or anything, its just....being someone i'm not is so much more interesting than being me.
sick of it all
i hate that you criticize me. I hate that everything hurts me so much. I hate that i am emotionally weak and emotionally drained.I hate it all.